LIAR LIAR PANTS ON FIRE!

THE LATEST CHARLATAN TO ASK FORGIVENESS FROM THE PUBLIC IS MARK
McGWIRE. HE FINALLY ADMITTED THAT HE HAD USED STEROIDS DURING HIS HOMERUN
RAMPAGE BREAKING ROGER MARIS'S RECORD. DUH! IT WAS OBVIOUS THAT McGWIRE HAD
BULKED UP WITH ILLEGAL DRUGS AND THAT WAS RESPONSIBLE FOR HIM HAVING MORE
MUSCLES THAN THE HULK. A GUY WHO USED TO LOOK LIKE PEEWEE HERMAN SUDDENLY GREW
BICEPS LIKE POPEYE.


BUT THIS DISHONEST REDHEAD PROCLAIMED FROM THE ROOF-TOPS THAT HE HAD NEVER
TAKEN ANY ILLEGAL SUBSTANCES. HE EVEN LIED TO CONGRESS ABOUT HIS USE OF STEROIDS.
HE GOT AWAY WITH HIS PREVARICATIONS BECAUSE CONGRESS WOULDN'T KNOW THE TRUTH
IF IT HIT THEM IN THEIR WALLETS. I'M SURPRISED THE SENATE DIDN'T MAKE HIM AN
HONORARY MEMBER.


THE REASON McGWIRE FINALLY CAME CLEAN IS BECAUSE THE ST. LOUIS CARDINALS HIRED
HIM AS A BATTING INSTRUCTOR/PHARMACIST. BELIEVING THAT MARK McGWIRE HAS FOUND GOD
AND NOW WILL BE HONEST IS LIKE BELIEVING THAT MICHAEL JACKSON NEVER HAD PLASTIC
SURGERY! MARK WAS A LIAR AND SHOULDN'T BE ALLOWED BACK IN THE SPORT HE SHORT-
CHANGED WITH HIS CORRUPT AND DISHONEST ACTIONS. FUCK HIM, THE CLOSEST HE
SHOULD GET TO COOPERSTOWN IS FLYING OVER UGANDA.

ALL THE FANS THAT BELIEVED IN HIM, AND MADE HIM THEIR HERO,
MUST HAVE FELT AS NAUSEOUS AND LET DOWN AS I DO LISTENING TO DICK CHENEY BLATHER
AND LIE ON FOX NEWS. WHAT TOOK McGWIRE SO MANY YEARS TO TELL THE TRUTH? TO COME
CLEAN WITH HIS FANS AND BASEBALL? HIS RECENT TEARS MUT HAVE BEEN CAUSED BY AN
ONION AROUND HIS NECK. TELLING THE TRUTH WILL BE A NEW EXPERIENCE
FOR McGWIRE. IT'S LIKE SAYING CHARLES MANSON WAS JUST GOING THROUGH A PHASE.

FIRST, TIGER WOODS BEING CAUGHT WITH HIS PANTS DOWN AND NOW THIS.