DR. PHIL...WE LOVE YOU......

Have you ever watched Dr. Phil on TV?

That’s really an oxymoron. If your television set has an ‘on’ button you can’t help but see Dr. Phil. Between his daily one hour show; re-runs of those shows; his prime time Specials; and his guest appearances, Phil, logs more air time than an irregularity commercial.

This Texas psychologist has become a cottage industry. His books are usually found on the best seller list, his CDs and tapes sell into the millions and he commands mucho bucks for public appearances. Dr. Phil is good: Bright, funny and very tall. His big breakthrough as a celebrity came when Oprah discovered him and he became a regular guest on her show. Some think that she probably has a piece of ownership of his television empire. Be that as it may, Dr. Phil is a winner.

He offers troubled husbands and wives, lovers, families and children help with their emotional problems. A quick fix and Americans love quick fixes. It’s also great television watching troubled people confessing things that would make a priest shudder and bolt from a confessional.

Obviously there’s something titillating observing people willing to talk about really personal, intimate, dysfunctional behavior. It’d be like spending a weekend with Britain’s Royal Family. Dr. Phil, and his guests, consider everything fair game. Nothing’s too salacious or sick to discuss before the millions watching. Hey, its show biz…it gets ratings. Dr. Phil does try to solve his guests’ problems or get them help. In the old days, the ‘help’ that Phil gets them, from therapy centers, group homes, psychiatrists, counselors, withdrawal facilities, etc., used to be called “product placement.”

Game and Quiz shows used to make lots of money by getting companies to offer free gifts and prizes to contestants. You remember: “Behind Door Number #1 is a free trip to beautiful, downtown Bosnia.” The sponsors climbed over one another to get their products free publicity while usually paying bribes to the producers to get on the air. Basically, that’s what Dr. Phil does every day. No, he doesn’t accept bribes but when he offers help he doesn’t pay for that help out of his pocket…it is donated by the health professionals wanting the publicity. Nothing wrong really – the sickies appearing on his show shouldn’t look a gift horse, or analyst, in the mouth. When Phil offers guests his latest book, CD, or video…it’s brilliant marketing by the mega-star.

I have nothing against Dr. Phil. He tries to help. However, did you ever wonder what really happens to the couples or families who were offered solutions and help to their problems? After appearing on The Dr. Phil Show are their lives really better? The answer probably is, no. Otherwise, you can bet the farm that Phil and his producers would bring them back to celebrate their happiness and healthiness. Proudly showing that his advice worked.
Once in a while they do a follow-up but not often. The only thing this cynical, old producer can deduce is that sadly the problems are often back and not solved. Instant therapy and simple solutions to major problems might make good TV but doesn’t have long term benefits.

I wonder what happened to a few of my favorites?

The sad, young boy who was teased unmercifully about his looks. His peers used to call him “Dog Face.” I understand he’s doing somewhat better but still likes to chase and catch Frisbees in his mouth.

That guy who was always self-destructive. Phil offered to pay for his therapy? Last seen he was sitting on an air hose hoping to blow himself up.

After Phil’s help, Helen, who had that severe case of bulimia made a recovery but it didn’t last. She’s now renting herself out as a twig.

Charles, the sexual deviate, recently died after having rough sex in a Barca Lounger with a Swedish fisherman.

Charlene, the nympho, was arrested again, this time for having intercourse with a pelican.

Let’s all beg Dr. Phil to keep up his good work.