A BANK AFTER MY OWN HEART.

PUT ON YOUR DANCING SHOES – WE’RE GONNA TAKE A WALK DOWN MEMORY LANE.

ARE YOU OLD ENOUGH TO REMEMBER WHEN BANKS WERE PEOPLE FRIENDLY INSTITUTIONS? THEY USED TO GIVE OUT GIFTS IF YOU OPENED A CHECKING OR SAVINGS ACCOUNT. ELECTRIC BLANKETS, TOASTERS – IF THEY RAN OUT OF ELECTRIC BLANKETS THEY ASKED YOU TO HOLD THE HOT TOASTER TO YOUR CHEST; DISHES AND POTS AND PANS. THAT WAS FOR JUST HAVING AN ACCOUNT WITH THEM. NOW YOU HAVE TO SHOW A PASSPORT TO JUST GET A WITHDRAWL OR DEPOSIT SLIP.

THE GEEZER IS HAPPY TO REPORT THAT THERE ARE SOME BANKS THAT ARE STILL USER FRIENDLY PLACES. IN CAP d’ AGDE, FRANCE THEY WELCOME YOU IN AN UNUSUAL WAY. CAP d’ AGDE IS A SEASIDE TOWN IN THE SOUTH OF FRANCE WHICH CATERES TO NUDISTS. EVERYBODY WALKS OR RUNS AROUND IN THEIR BIRTHDAY SUITS. EVEN THE BANKS IN THAT COMMUNITY ARE NUDIST. I KID YOU NOT. ALL EMPLOYEES AND CUSTOMERS ARE NAKED. TALK ABOUT FRIENDLY!!!! IF YOU OPEN AN ACCOUNT IN ONE OF THE BANKS THERE THEY DON’T GIVE YOU HOUSEHOLD GOODS THEY OFFER A TUBE OF SUN SCREEN. EVERYDAY COMMON PHRASES HAVE NEW MEANING IN THIS TYPE OF BANK. IF YOU WALK UP TO A SEXY NUDE TELLER AND SAY YOU'D LIKE TO MAKE A DEPOST AND WITHDRAWAL SHE MIGHT BLUSH.

I, AM, CONSIDERING MOVING ALL MY CASH TO CAP d’ AGDE. IS THERE ANYTHING MORE FRIENDLY THAN A NUDE LOAN OFFICER? OF COURSE, IF ONE OF THE TELLERS LOOKS LIKE EDNA WEINSTEIN, AN EMPLOYEE OF MY PALM SPRINGS BANK – I MAY HAVE TO RECONSIDER. EDNA WOULDN’T LOOK TOO APPETIZING WITHOUT CLOTHES ON. HELL, SHE BARELY IS ACCEPTABLE IN HER MUMU AND MUSTACHE.