FAIR JUSTICE.

Our justice system is screwed up. It’s in a bigger mess than Phil Spector’s hair. For years people have complained that the courts have been too lenient when sentencing criminals. Our judges have been coddling defendants and that’s the reason that the crime rate has risen every year.

When it comes to dishonest or stupid judges I have done a study and most of them are getting a bad rap. True, there was the jurist in Maine who was accused of self abuse while sitting on the bench. No one would have known anything but every hour he would scream out, “Oh, baby, do it.” Now, you know what some of them do while sitting on the bench. Another elderly and senile judge who should have retired years ago admits to playing bridge with a mannequin during trials.

It’s refreshing to hear about a justice who not only is bright and fair but hands out sentences to wrong doers in a creative manner. This particular judge works in Painesville, Ohio and recently had a defendant charged with animal cruelty. It seems this imbecile was charged with shooting his Great Dane in the head. It’s been rumored that he was wrestling the dog for a chew stick, lost and got pissed. He was arrested after neighbors reported hearing a dog’s cries and the animal saying, “You got me,” Police found the injured animal and took it to an emergency veterinary clinic but while the dog was filling out papers and trying to prove it had insurance…it past away.

Judge Michael Cicconetti is know for his creative sentences for low-level crimes – before you dog lovers started screaming that shooting a dog in the head is hardly a low-level crime – read on. The defendant pleaded no contest to the animal cruelty charge and was sentenced to 180 days in jail for shooting his dog Bill. No one believed the guilty man’s defense that, “he was too drunk to drive.” Judge Cicconetti offered to cut the sentence to 10 days in jail if Bill’s killer wears a dog costume for a month. Not only does he have to wear a Safety Pup’s outfit but must only relieve himself at fire hydrants. He has to only eat kibble and walk in circles before he sits down. This hit man also has to pay the Humane Society’s vet bills and visit schools and preach about the evils of violence and outsourcing to the students.

I love the sentence and only wish the judge had also insisted that the defendant get wormed. In the past, Judge C. sentenced a couple who vandalized a baby Jesus statue to lead a donkey through the city streets and be nailed to a cross. A littering defendant was forced to live in a trash can for a week. Judge Cicconetti should be appointed to the Supreme Court.

I’ll bet that, speaking of dogs, Nancy Grace couldn’t bitch about this judge. Why doesn’t someone shoot her in the head? It’d be a mercy killing.