HOME FOR SALE.
The most ambitious and aggressive people all of us have met are real estate agents. Every person you seem to meet claims to be selling real estate. Most of them will not take ‘no for an answer.’ They are totally unrelenting when it comes to trying to sell you a home. The only other human I’ve ever met with such balls is the bartender I encountered in Fresno who always asked Hells Angels if they wanted a Shirley Temple?
It’s probably understandable that real estate people will do anything to close a deal. I have been offered sexual favors if I’d sign a contract. I don’t him no. In another case I might have been interested but she looked like something you’d find in a fish aquarium. I guess with the real estate boom it was a good business to get into. However, with the market as soft as a man needing Viagra no holds are barred.
A case in point: A Texas real estate agent looking to add more bang to her business is offering clients a free Glock pistol if they buy a home. Julie Upton, a Houston-area agent, spurned traditional buyer incentives like free gasoline cards, home improvements, DVDs of Paris Hilton going down on herself or this woman’s youngest child. Chutzpah must be her middle name.
She placed an advertisement offering a pistol with the purchase of any home worth at least $150,000. If you buy a home for less than $150,000 she gives you a ticket to the lottery in Biafra. So far she has given away two Glocks to people who bought homes from her. The guns cost about $500.00. So far the advertisement has not generated protests from the anti-gun lobby. I didn’t know there was an anti-gun lobby in Texas. In Texas, no license is required to own a rifle, shotgun, handgun or rocket launcher.
I have some advice for this ingenious, hustling woman – why not restrict her clientele to members of street gangs or motorcycle killers? They always need more fire power. I may take a page out of Upton’s book and become a real estate agent here in the Palm Springs area. Instead of guns I can offer walkers, bifocals and free dentures. Whatdya think?
It’s probably understandable that real estate people will do anything to close a deal. I have been offered sexual favors if I’d sign a contract. I don’t him no. In another case I might have been interested but she looked like something you’d find in a fish aquarium. I guess with the real estate boom it was a good business to get into. However, with the market as soft as a man needing Viagra no holds are barred.
A case in point: A Texas real estate agent looking to add more bang to her business is offering clients a free Glock pistol if they buy a home. Julie Upton, a Houston-area agent, spurned traditional buyer incentives like free gasoline cards, home improvements, DVDs of Paris Hilton going down on herself or this woman’s youngest child. Chutzpah must be her middle name.
She placed an advertisement offering a pistol with the purchase of any home worth at least $150,000. If you buy a home for less than $150,000 she gives you a ticket to the lottery in Biafra. So far she has given away two Glocks to people who bought homes from her. The guns cost about $500.00. So far the advertisement has not generated protests from the anti-gun lobby. I didn’t know there was an anti-gun lobby in Texas. In Texas, no license is required to own a rifle, shotgun, handgun or rocket launcher.
I have some advice for this ingenious, hustling woman – why not restrict her clientele to members of street gangs or motorcycle killers? They always need more fire power. I may take a page out of Upton’s book and become a real estate agent here in the Palm Springs area. Instead of guns I can offer walkers, bifocals and free dentures. Whatdya think?
posted by THE RANTING OLD GEEZER at 5:23 PM
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