GET ME AN AGENT THEN A GUN.....
We have become a country of rounders, grifters and con men and women.
No story or person can be taken at face value anymore. It seems everyone we read about or see on television has a hype up their sleeve. This mania for getting money out of a personal tragedy has reached epidemic proportions.
The latest beneficiary of this craze is Jennifer Wilbanks. She’s the woman who ran away from her upcoming wedding causing her home town, family and friends to believe that she was possibly kidnapped or murdered. The town spent nearly $43,000 to search for Jennifer. All the while Wilbanks, had taken a bus to Albuquerque, N.M. to hide out. She finally called home claiming to have been abducted and sexually assaulted. All a big lie. This wacko just got cold feet and left her fiancé, John Mason, and 600 wedding guests standing around with fingers up their buns.
Remember the pictures of Wilbanks when she was returned to Duluth? Her wide-eyed stare? Jennifer looked like she hadn’t blinked in eighteen years. Like she was struck repeatedly on the head with a frozen Stouffer’s lean cuisine. Instead of being disgraced, Wilbanks, was sentenced to two years of probation and 120 hours of community service. What community service can Jennifer provide? How to run the 100-yard dash? The media called her, “The Runaway Bride.” Julia Roberts, who starred in a successful movie called, “Runaway Bride” should sue Ms. Wilbanks for identity theft.
Jennifer just cashed in on her escapade. She signed a deal for a TV series about her misadventure. The deal was made with ReganMedia, which publishes books and produces TV shows and movies. Company President Judith Regan called the tale “an unexpected and compelling story of love and forgiveness.” Huh? What part of love deals with running away from a wedding? There’s very little ‘forgiveness’ in Duluth for Jennifer Wilbanks. People, who spent days searching for her, were furious when they found out the truth. News of this movie deal has infuriated local officials and residents.
This is just the start. People are now going to make film deals before they commit their con.
Just imagine the kids who are going to make deals with 20th Century Fox and Universal before claiming they were sexually abused?
If bank robbery becomes a hot box office subject – Miramax will probably make development deals with wannabe bank robbers.
Some sexual deviate will sign a book deal before he stands naked in front of the Lincoln Memorial and becomes sexually aroused.
This could mushroom into a financial bonanza. No self-respecting criminal will commit a crime without representation by William Morris or CAA. The Mafia will probably offer an IPO.
I just feel terrible for poor John Mason, a man who will spend the rest of his life with his testicles hanging from Jennifer’s rear view mirror.
No story or person can be taken at face value anymore. It seems everyone we read about or see on television has a hype up their sleeve. This mania for getting money out of a personal tragedy has reached epidemic proportions.
The latest beneficiary of this craze is Jennifer Wilbanks. She’s the woman who ran away from her upcoming wedding causing her home town, family and friends to believe that she was possibly kidnapped or murdered. The town spent nearly $43,000 to search for Jennifer. All the while Wilbanks, had taken a bus to Albuquerque, N.M. to hide out. She finally called home claiming to have been abducted and sexually assaulted. All a big lie. This wacko just got cold feet and left her fiancé, John Mason, and 600 wedding guests standing around with fingers up their buns.
Remember the pictures of Wilbanks when she was returned to Duluth? Her wide-eyed stare? Jennifer looked like she hadn’t blinked in eighteen years. Like she was struck repeatedly on the head with a frozen Stouffer’s lean cuisine. Instead of being disgraced, Wilbanks, was sentenced to two years of probation and 120 hours of community service. What community service can Jennifer provide? How to run the 100-yard dash? The media called her, “The Runaway Bride.” Julia Roberts, who starred in a successful movie called, “Runaway Bride” should sue Ms. Wilbanks for identity theft.
Jennifer just cashed in on her escapade. She signed a deal for a TV series about her misadventure. The deal was made with ReganMedia, which publishes books and produces TV shows and movies. Company President Judith Regan called the tale “an unexpected and compelling story of love and forgiveness.” Huh? What part of love deals with running away from a wedding? There’s very little ‘forgiveness’ in Duluth for Jennifer Wilbanks. People, who spent days searching for her, were furious when they found out the truth. News of this movie deal has infuriated local officials and residents.
This is just the start. People are now going to make film deals before they commit their con.
Just imagine the kids who are going to make deals with 20th Century Fox and Universal before claiming they were sexually abused?
If bank robbery becomes a hot box office subject – Miramax will probably make development deals with wannabe bank robbers.
Some sexual deviate will sign a book deal before he stands naked in front of the Lincoln Memorial and becomes sexually aroused.
This could mushroom into a financial bonanza. No self-respecting criminal will commit a crime without representation by William Morris or CAA. The Mafia will probably offer an IPO.
I just feel terrible for poor John Mason, a man who will spend the rest of his life with his testicles hanging from Jennifer’s rear view mirror.
posted by THE RANTING OLD GEEZER at 4:01 PM
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