HOW MUCH IS THAT DOGGY IN THE........
For you boomers that happen to have a few hundred grand stuffed under your designer mattresses and are tired of going out to lunch and drinking lattes with Peaches Goldstein and Orville “Buck” Harrington why not put your money to work for you? Instead of cutting coupons for exercise get involved in something exciting and dynamic.
Why not get into the franchise business? People who own franchises are making money hand over hoof. They are the hottest and most profitable businesses next to owning a Korean massage parlor. At last count there are over 200,000 Korean massage parlors – a cash only business – no food stamps accepted – on one block in West Hollywood alone. Some suspect that some of the girls might have been smuggled into the U.S. and aren’t native born. At last count there are only 12 native born Koreans in all 50 states.
Some of the really successful franchises that are money making machines, are” Subway, Curves, 7-Eleven, Dunkin’ Donuts and one I never heard of before – the Jackson Hewitt Tax Service franchises. Like many of you, I thought H&R Block was the biggie when it came to tax services. Not even close. Jackson Hewitt was started by…….? Come on guess. Wrong. By a little gentleman named, One Hung Low….who begin by owning a chain of Korean massage parlors. When the price of baby oil became higher than OPEC oil…he began this new franchise.
You don’t have to know anything about tax laws or accounting to own a Jackson Hewitt Tax Service. All that it takes is $250,000 and instantly you’re a tax expert. You even get a lovely diploma signed by Sally Struthers and Regis Philbin which you can hang on the wall or wear around your neck. This is a class operation. They even throw in an abacus which is sure to impress potential customers.
My favorite new franchise on the market is Camp Bow Wow. Doggie day care is the business plan for Camp Bow Wow. Pet-owners drop off Bowser for a day of play or overnight stays. The dogs get to romp outdoors and in climate controlled indoor facilities. Camp Bow Wow targets two growing demographics, “dink” (double income no kids-dog owners. They also cater to affluent seniors who like to travel and want to leave their dogs behind with people they trust. Another growing demographic welcomed as valued customers by Camp Bow Wow is the gay and lesbian population market. To this end, Judy Garland CDs are played all day long and DVDs of Ellen Degeneres beating up marines are screened for the pooches.
Everyone knows how much dog owners like to spoil their animals. Some men and women would rather go hungry than deny their dogs bowls of designer- kibble. Rumor has it that’s what happened to Karen Carpenter. Many Camp Bow Wow franchises offer 5-star accommodations for your poodle. They are met at the curb by a uniformed doorman, handed a gourmet treat and escorted into Camp Bow Wow. They are offered a kennel with a lake or golf course view. Among the services offered are: manicure, pedicure, hair styling, sun bins, massage, water sports, pilates, yoga, canasta, and golf lessons. The pooches dine on prime scraps and are encouraged to go back for seconds and bottled Alpine water.. The motto of all Camp Bow Wows is, “Spoil the Pets and Accept American Express Gold.”
When the pet owner arrives to pick up their dog they are presented with a bill that could give an Ox a heart attack but will also be greeted by a happy, joyous pooch that will probably pee or shit on their shoe. Can you ask better than that?
Bet all your money on a Camp Bow Wow franchise. They only cost $200,000 to get. Owning one is a lot more economical than sending a pet to one.
Why not get into the franchise business? People who own franchises are making money hand over hoof. They are the hottest and most profitable businesses next to owning a Korean massage parlor. At last count there are over 200,000 Korean massage parlors – a cash only business – no food stamps accepted – on one block in West Hollywood alone. Some suspect that some of the girls might have been smuggled into the U.S. and aren’t native born. At last count there are only 12 native born Koreans in all 50 states.
Some of the really successful franchises that are money making machines, are” Subway, Curves, 7-Eleven, Dunkin’ Donuts and one I never heard of before – the Jackson Hewitt Tax Service franchises. Like many of you, I thought H&R Block was the biggie when it came to tax services. Not even close. Jackson Hewitt was started by…….? Come on guess. Wrong. By a little gentleman named, One Hung Low….who begin by owning a chain of Korean massage parlors. When the price of baby oil became higher than OPEC oil…he began this new franchise.
You don’t have to know anything about tax laws or accounting to own a Jackson Hewitt Tax Service. All that it takes is $250,000 and instantly you’re a tax expert. You even get a lovely diploma signed by Sally Struthers and Regis Philbin which you can hang on the wall or wear around your neck. This is a class operation. They even throw in an abacus which is sure to impress potential customers.
My favorite new franchise on the market is Camp Bow Wow. Doggie day care is the business plan for Camp Bow Wow. Pet-owners drop off Bowser for a day of play or overnight stays. The dogs get to romp outdoors and in climate controlled indoor facilities. Camp Bow Wow targets two growing demographics, “dink” (double income no kids-dog owners. They also cater to affluent seniors who like to travel and want to leave their dogs behind with people they trust. Another growing demographic welcomed as valued customers by Camp Bow Wow is the gay and lesbian population market. To this end, Judy Garland CDs are played all day long and DVDs of Ellen Degeneres beating up marines are screened for the pooches.
Everyone knows how much dog owners like to spoil their animals. Some men and women would rather go hungry than deny their dogs bowls of designer- kibble. Rumor has it that’s what happened to Karen Carpenter. Many Camp Bow Wow franchises offer 5-star accommodations for your poodle. They are met at the curb by a uniformed doorman, handed a gourmet treat and escorted into Camp Bow Wow. They are offered a kennel with a lake or golf course view. Among the services offered are: manicure, pedicure, hair styling, sun bins, massage, water sports, pilates, yoga, canasta, and golf lessons. The pooches dine on prime scraps and are encouraged to go back for seconds and bottled Alpine water.. The motto of all Camp Bow Wows is, “Spoil the Pets and Accept American Express Gold.”
When the pet owner arrives to pick up their dog they are presented with a bill that could give an Ox a heart attack but will also be greeted by a happy, joyous pooch that will probably pee or shit on their shoe. Can you ask better than that?
Bet all your money on a Camp Bow Wow franchise. They only cost $200,000 to get. Owning one is a lot more economical than sending a pet to one.
posted by THE RANTING OLD GEEZER at 7:38 PM
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