BOOK IT, DANO.........
Hawaii is a paradise for millions of people. The Island is beautiful enough to take your breath away: Lush green hills, white sandy beaches, clear tropical waters, deserted lagoons, lava rocks bordered by the most beautiful flowers and vegetation. The weather is nearly perfect all year long. However, Hawaii is facing its biggest crises since December 7, 1941.
Its very survival depends on solving the crises. This problem is so serious that it’s even worse than if Don Ho finally announced his long overdue retirement. He still will bore visitors by singing, “Tiny Bubbles”, off-key. Just like death and taxes, Don Ho will not go away. What else could be causing this disaster in the making? Poi? Close but no cigar. That white, tasteless paste will still be served to tourists too dumb to object. Will the Island’s government declare topless Hula lap-dancing legal? Will authentic, Hawaiian flowered leis be manufactured in Taiwan? Is it possible that macadamia nuts will cause bowlegged-ness and people to dress as hens? Come on, folks, this is a huge disaster in the making….think!
Okay, you obviously have no imagination. Hawaii is facing a menace that can bring the State to its knees. A tiny, 2-inch frog, the coqui frog, has infestated all of the islands. It suddenly appeared in the 1990s. With no natural predators, such as snakes, to keep their numbers under control, the frogs and their loud “KO-KEE” mating calls has caused serious damage to Hawaii’s economy. The noise the coqui frogs emit is loud enough to cause a pot of kasha to go deaf.
Experts believe the first frog – or frogs – hitched a ride to Hawaii from its native Puerto Rico – in a plant shipped aboard The Love Boat. Some even speculate that the frog hid in Gavin MacLeod’s toupee. Once on the Island the coqui frogs multiplied faster than a family of Mormons. Many worried officials believe the noisy amphibians could cause serious damage to Hawaii’s economy if they drag down housing prices. Who wants to live next to a noisy bunch of frogs that are louder than the Rolling Stones?
Some parts of the Big Island have infestations so large authorities have been forced into containment mode, abandoning plans to eradicate the frogs. “I would rather live next to a highway than live next to an area that has coqui frogs. The coqui sound is a shrill shriek and then silence”, said one disgusted islander as he stepped into the Pacific to swim back to Alaska.
Sixty-two percent of Big Island real estate agents said they were involved in deals affected in some way by the presence of the coqui. “Potential home owners are backing out of contracts because the frogs were too loud.” Another problem seems to be a few potential buyers tried to pay for the houses with raisins. If the real estate boom crashes because of the annoying “KO-KEE” mating call Hawaii’s future is in doubt. “Nobody thought a frog could be a problem…unless, of course, it got stuck in your cummerbund.”
So, pray for Hawaii. Book it, Dano.
Its very survival depends on solving the crises. This problem is so serious that it’s even worse than if Don Ho finally announced his long overdue retirement. He still will bore visitors by singing, “Tiny Bubbles”, off-key. Just like death and taxes, Don Ho will not go away. What else could be causing this disaster in the making? Poi? Close but no cigar. That white, tasteless paste will still be served to tourists too dumb to object. Will the Island’s government declare topless Hula lap-dancing legal? Will authentic, Hawaiian flowered leis be manufactured in Taiwan? Is it possible that macadamia nuts will cause bowlegged-ness and people to dress as hens? Come on, folks, this is a huge disaster in the making….think!
Okay, you obviously have no imagination. Hawaii is facing a menace that can bring the State to its knees. A tiny, 2-inch frog, the coqui frog, has infestated all of the islands. It suddenly appeared in the 1990s. With no natural predators, such as snakes, to keep their numbers under control, the frogs and their loud “KO-KEE” mating calls has caused serious damage to Hawaii’s economy. The noise the coqui frogs emit is loud enough to cause a pot of kasha to go deaf.
Experts believe the first frog – or frogs – hitched a ride to Hawaii from its native Puerto Rico – in a plant shipped aboard The Love Boat. Some even speculate that the frog hid in Gavin MacLeod’s toupee. Once on the Island the coqui frogs multiplied faster than a family of Mormons. Many worried officials believe the noisy amphibians could cause serious damage to Hawaii’s economy if they drag down housing prices. Who wants to live next to a noisy bunch of frogs that are louder than the Rolling Stones?
Some parts of the Big Island have infestations so large authorities have been forced into containment mode, abandoning plans to eradicate the frogs. “I would rather live next to a highway than live next to an area that has coqui frogs. The coqui sound is a shrill shriek and then silence”, said one disgusted islander as he stepped into the Pacific to swim back to Alaska.
Sixty-two percent of Big Island real estate agents said they were involved in deals affected in some way by the presence of the coqui. “Potential home owners are backing out of contracts because the frogs were too loud.” Another problem seems to be a few potential buyers tried to pay for the houses with raisins. If the real estate boom crashes because of the annoying “KO-KEE” mating call Hawaii’s future is in doubt. “Nobody thought a frog could be a problem…unless, of course, it got stuck in your cummerbund.”
So, pray for Hawaii. Book it, Dano.
posted by THE RANTING OLD GEEZER at 7:02 PM
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