STOP KVETCHING AND DO SOMETHING....

Is there anything more boring than people who constantly complain about their jobs?

Well, actually there are a few things equally as boring: People who bring there own wine bottles to McDonald’s; middle aged men who have pony tails and insist on wearing baseball caps backwards; fat women who insist on wearing dresses so short they can catch the croup and, my favorite: people with no sense of humor who try to tell you a joke and forget the punch line.

But, people who kvetch about work are right up there. “I’m bored. I’m not appreciated. No one cares about my feelings. I’m not asked for my advice. It’s a living hell.” Hey, the same thing can be said about most marriages but at least you’re being paid. Yeah, yeah, not enough but you are being paid. I’ve got news for those poor miserable souls who hate their jobs….leave, get out, change it – no one is holding a gun to your head…unless, of course you work for the Mafia…and in that case bow a lot and kiss the ring of fellas named, Cheech

It’s true that after awhile many jobs can become dull, doing the same boring things every day, feeling like a mouse on a wheel in a cage; constantly moving but getting no where. It doesn’t take a rocket scientist (talk about dull work…always sitting in some control room, counting down and never firing off a missile as some glitch pops up with two seconds to go.) to figure out that for your own sanity you should look elsewhere for a career. There are many interesting careers that most folks never even consider. Open your eyes widen your horizons……

Here are a few creative careers that you might consider:

Etiquette Instructor: the lack of manners is really a problem today. Like a young mother with a child and a bag trying to pass through a door and nobody helps her. Of course if you tried she might panic and spray you with mace and kick you in the nuts. Teaching people to stand up if you’re taking public transportation when an older person needs a seat. Or, grabbing them and pulling them down on your lap. Teaching school children not to talk back to their teachers…shooting them is okay but talking back is a no-no. Etiquette and manners are the mark of a gentle society. Be one of the leaders.

Golf Ball Diver: could anything be more fun than diving five times a week in some smelly, algae filled, polluted golf course lake and getting paid 9 cents a ball? You probably can collect an average of 3,300 golf balls a day. Imagine the interesting stories you can tell at home after a days work? There are a few risks. Regular tetanus shots are advised; water moccasins and gators can get a tad upset with you invading their territory. Some veteran golf ball divers say, “I do it all by feel. If its round, I bag it; if it moves, I let it go in a hurry.” Sounds simple to me. The average golf ball diver can make about $60,000 a year.

Sushi Broker: Imagine yourself living in Hawaii, waking up and 3:30 a.m. going to your office and taking from 10 to 20 orders placed on your answering machine. Your customers are hotels and sushi bars from all over the country. Then heading to the Honolulu Fish Auction, which starts at 5:30. Watching 3 to 5 fishing boats unload which can mean between 15,000 and 70,000 pounds of fish. Oh, sure, you can slip on fish gills and break both legs and the smell isn’t exactly perfume but think of the excitement. A Sushi Broker isn’t allowed to taste the fish but you can touch them. Talk about fun!? The auctioneer cuts the tail of each fish so that you can see how fresh it is. Color is the key. Red flesh means it’s fresh; if it’s brown or black, it’s older and probably on social security. Seer-sucker is not recommended eating unless fed to in-laws. Creative, fun and gets you up early……

Elephant Pedicurist: Now we’re talking creative work. An elephant pedicurist lives on the Ringling Bros. circus train along with 250 others. Human others. It’s the world’s longest privately owned train – over a mile long. Never a dull day on the circus train, you betcha. Your clients are 12 elephants. Their nails need to be trimmed regularly. Hey, elephants are people, too. The first thing an elephant pedicurist learns is to dispense with small talk. “Rosy, isn’t interested.” You have to shape and file the nails but under no circumstances put the hoof in your lap. Why? Because, you won’t have a lap anymore. Some elephants like their cuticles done but that’s extra money plus a big tip. You’d spend 14 to 16 hours a day with your pachyderms – they’d become like your family. Pretty darn sweet.

No more bitching about work. If you’re unhappy get the hell out. Just think about the fantastic opportunities that are out there. I didn’t even mention the Spanish Instructor for penguins.