DON'T SHINE HER ON.....

Just when you thought things had calmed down and that life, as we know it, was good something happens that brings us back to reality. It could be any outrageous statement or venal act by someone who is as dumb and mean as a dinosaur. One non-candidate once said, “I would kill for the Nobel Peace Prize.”

If it’s not a single man or woman who commits some despicable crime against their fellow human beings it’s guaranteed that some large company will step into the breach and shock everyone. It could be one of those conglomerate financial institutions that charge ridiculous interest rates and when confronted point to “the small print” on their contracts that an eagle couldn’t find. Personally, the Geezer only borrows money from pessimists – they don’t expect it back.

Many professions are breeding grounds for maliciousness. Take lawyers – please! (Forgive me Henny Youngman.) The truth is 99% of lawyers give the rest a bad name. The same can be said for car salesman, auto repair shops and, of course, politicians. I usually include psychics and fortune tellers in this group. Question: Why do psychics have to ask you your name?

But the outrage of the year comes from Flint, Michigan. If you thought that Scrooge was just a Dickens’ fictional character think again. You won’t believe the following horror story. It seems a 41-year old woman living in lovely Flint had an electricity bill of $1,662.08 for the month. The first question one should ask is how can an average citizen possibly accumulate a monthly bill of over one thousand dollars? Perhaps she is a mad scientist and creating a new breed of Frankenstein; or purchased a used electric chair and is doing away with her neighbors. A grand does seem a trifle high but whatthehey…..

Consumers Energy Company who provides electricity to the poor woman became outraged when they received her payment for the bill because she had the nerve and chutzpah to only send them a check for $1,662.07. Did she think she was dealing some rubes or hicks? CMS Energy Corp. wasn’t about to take her insulting payment lying down. No, siree, Flint! She tried to screw them out of a penny and they were sore as a chicken trying to lay eggs on a hot griddle. Did they chalk the penny shortage to an oversight and mistake? Hell no! CMS cut off the power to this deadbeat and blacked her house out for seven hours. Vishtay? They cut off her power over one lousy penny. When she called the power company in a panic – who knows maybe Frankenstein was stuck in mid-step while doing the samba? – she was informed that unless she paid the penny, she tried to con them out of; the power would not be turned on again.

“I went down there, paid my penny and got a receipt,” she told the local press. Shortly after, the electricity was turned back on. Let’s recap: she paid a monthly electric bill of $1,662.08…er, I mean, she paid $1,662.07 and was treated like a member of Osama’s family by the stupid energy company. I guess those penny’s add up and if you collect enough of them you can buy a penny candy which now costs a dollar.

I hope the Michigan legislature and Flint City fathers tell CMS Energy Corp. to stick electrodes up their asses and turn on the electricity. So much for a kinder and gentler country.