NUT CAKE OF THE YEAR....

Like the song says about New York, “If I can make it there I can make it anywhere….” is a truism. New York is a wonderfully fascinating city filled with movers and shakers, the finest restaurants, stores, theaters and a host of sight-seeing wonders. It is also filled with some of the craziest people on God’s earth. You will see more sickos standing and having earnest conversations with department store mannequins than any other place in the world. Some of them even don the latest fashion in aluminum pointed hats.

With over 8 million residents, Manhattan doesn’t get rattled too often by strange behavior. Although many still believe Charles Manson was misunderstood and was just going through a phase. The truth is that the denizens on most street corners look like the day room patients at your average mental hospital. Given all that – a 23-year-old New Yorker just broke the record on “strangeness” in the Big Apple’s history.

I can hear you saying what in the world could he have done to warrant the tribute of “nutcase of the Year”? He admitted to having a foot fetish. No, big deal you say? Maybe not in the privacy of his hovel but on New York subways -- a definite no-no. He tried to kiss, fondle and lick the legs and toes of more than 70 women over the past three years. In a handwritten confession to police this toe licker says his aim was “to make them laugh and smile and open to talk with me.” I’ve heard of “breaking the ice” but this is a new one in trying to meet people.

He was arrested after attacking a woman on a subway in lower Manhattan and charged with forcible touching, sex abuse and unlawful imprisonment – the latter charge referring to his habit of grabbing his victim’s legs and not letting go. He faces up to a year in jail if convicted and has been released on $6,000 bail until a court hearing in June. “I get on my knees, bow, grab their feet, kiss them. I grab their hand and tell them “You’re so beautiful. I’m not worthy,” he wrote. “I do not give them my real name. If they ask I will tell them my name is Anthony, Jason or Careem.”

He said his motivation was to get to know the women, but he recalled that often they would move away when he tried to “taste and touch them.” “Some women had kicked and screamed,” he wrote. “I’ve done this to about 70 women.” He admitted that he lives at home with his parents and two sisters and was fired from his last job with a sightseeing company. Duh! He probably drove the bus around shoe stores all day.

What the Geezer wants to know is when the cops finally arrested this lunatic did they sight the various laws like, “unlawful and forcible touching” or did they just beat the crap out of him before he tried to lick their boots? Let’s face it, New York might be a wonderful city but not if you ride the subways and have clean feet.