THE WORLD IS OVER AS WE KNOW IT.
The world as we knew it is at an end. It’s over! Not because of global warming or George Bush’s latest speech – a new study of over 1,400 women has turned the world upside down. Remember the song, “Diamonds Are A Girl’s Best Friend? Well, buster it ain’t!
According to this scientific account conducted by market researcher TRU – are you ready? – Given the choice, women would opt for tech items rather than luxury items like jewelry or expensive vacations. Has the world gone bonkers? Have women lost their damn minds? This subversive study found that 77% of women surveyed would prefer a new plasma television to a diamond solitaire ring and 56% would opt for the TV over a weekend in Hawaii. My hands are shaking as I write this.
If this is true, why did Marilyn Monroe waste our time singing about diamonds? What has happened to greed and avarice? What has happened to the women who insist on driving cars so expensive that you don’t wash it…you dry clean it? Remember the good old days when girlfriends insisted that their sugar daddy’s wallet had stretch marks. In Beverly Hills does this mean the end of Mercedes back-to-school sales? Will we never find rich housewives buying designer kibble for their dogs?
Christ, this is frightening. This scarifying study also found out that instead of Prada, 86% of women would prefer a new digital video camera to a pair of Prada shoes. Hell, I’d rather wear Prada pumps than have a friggin’ video camera. Where did they find the women in this study? Probably commies. Think: how many women do you know or have met that would actually pick a Toshiba instead of a Harry Winston diamond? Nada!
I hope this study is apocryphal or at least apostrophe. All men are used to the little woman spending money and kvetching that she doesn’t have enough – this will put us into cultural shock. Wanting a thin TV instead of the Hope diamond – where is my ex-wife when I need her?
According to this scientific account conducted by market researcher TRU – are you ready? – Given the choice, women would opt for tech items rather than luxury items like jewelry or expensive vacations. Has the world gone bonkers? Have women lost their damn minds? This subversive study found that 77% of women surveyed would prefer a new plasma television to a diamond solitaire ring and 56% would opt for the TV over a weekend in Hawaii. My hands are shaking as I write this.
If this is true, why did Marilyn Monroe waste our time singing about diamonds? What has happened to greed and avarice? What has happened to the women who insist on driving cars so expensive that you don’t wash it…you dry clean it? Remember the good old days when girlfriends insisted that their sugar daddy’s wallet had stretch marks. In Beverly Hills does this mean the end of Mercedes back-to-school sales? Will we never find rich housewives buying designer kibble for their dogs?
Christ, this is frightening. This scarifying study also found out that instead of Prada, 86% of women would prefer a new digital video camera to a pair of Prada shoes. Hell, I’d rather wear Prada pumps than have a friggin’ video camera. Where did they find the women in this study? Probably commies. Think: how many women do you know or have met that would actually pick a Toshiba instead of a Harry Winston diamond? Nada!
I hope this study is apocryphal or at least apostrophe. All men are used to the little woman spending money and kvetching that she doesn’t have enough – this will put us into cultural shock. Wanting a thin TV instead of the Hope diamond – where is my ex-wife when I need her?
posted by THE RANTING OLD GEEZER at 5:53 PM
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