READ YOUR BIBLE.
This is perhaps the strangest Blog in Geezerdom history. I, am, not a very religious person. I don’t say this with any sense of pride. I just got turned off when someone got me a pop-up Bible on my sixth birthday. I was hoping for a blow-up, rubber lady named Christine.
Knowing all about the thousands of ‘begats’ contained in the old and new Testaments I guess I was hoping to do a little begetting with Christine. It seems that religion has been the cause of more wars, killings, enslavements and persecutions throughout history than anything else…with the exception, possibly, of marriage.
The thing that gets me is that each religion insists that it is the only true religion and that anything else is as phony as the judging on American Idol. Not only is it the only real religion but they’ll kill you to prove it. All of us are disgusted and strangely amused by the Televangelists that harangue viewers insisting that you send in money to these con men and women. Any amount will do – a social security check, your life savings, and the money that is needed to pay the medication needed for your favorite guppy. Most of these right wing religious zealots have more money than most countries but still want yours. “Send in a small contribution to help pay for my private jet and I will send you an authentic, one of a kind, gold filling from Jesus’ mouth. His dentist has authenticated it. Hallelujah!”
Once in awhile the newspapers report on a strange event involving a religion or the bible that makes me laugh. Recently a dude in Chattanooga, Tenn. – not a hotbed of liberalism – flipped out and took the bible’s scripture to heart. The good book does mention fire and brimstone a lot but nothing about motel rooms. Richard McCoy, 37, decided that he was either very cold or he heard a ‘voice’ which told him that the Best Western Heritage Inn were cheap bastards and that if he wanted more heat in his room – to do something about it. So, he started several small fires, in the room, using pages from those bibles that motels insist on shoving in night table drawers as kindling. Why the hell don’t they shove a list of the best adult massage parlors instead?
Old Richard was arrested for aggravated arson and vandalism. He was judged mentally competent to stand trial is being held in the county jail. When asked why he set the fires, he told investigators that he was watching some religious show and since he didn’t have any money to send in for an ‘authentic loafer worn by Jesus during the Last Supper’ he got depressed and cold.
As a defrocked Druid I feel for this poor guy. Instead of sending him bail money I sent him a set of long johns. Hallelujah!
Knowing all about the thousands of ‘begats’ contained in the old and new Testaments I guess I was hoping to do a little begetting with Christine. It seems that religion has been the cause of more wars, killings, enslavements and persecutions throughout history than anything else…with the exception, possibly, of marriage.
The thing that gets me is that each religion insists that it is the only true religion and that anything else is as phony as the judging on American Idol. Not only is it the only real religion but they’ll kill you to prove it. All of us are disgusted and strangely amused by the Televangelists that harangue viewers insisting that you send in money to these con men and women. Any amount will do – a social security check, your life savings, and the money that is needed to pay the medication needed for your favorite guppy. Most of these right wing religious zealots have more money than most countries but still want yours. “Send in a small contribution to help pay for my private jet and I will send you an authentic, one of a kind, gold filling from Jesus’ mouth. His dentist has authenticated it. Hallelujah!”
Once in awhile the newspapers report on a strange event involving a religion or the bible that makes me laugh. Recently a dude in Chattanooga, Tenn. – not a hotbed of liberalism – flipped out and took the bible’s scripture to heart. The good book does mention fire and brimstone a lot but nothing about motel rooms. Richard McCoy, 37, decided that he was either very cold or he heard a ‘voice’ which told him that the Best Western Heritage Inn were cheap bastards and that if he wanted more heat in his room – to do something about it. So, he started several small fires, in the room, using pages from those bibles that motels insist on shoving in night table drawers as kindling. Why the hell don’t they shove a list of the best adult massage parlors instead?
Old Richard was arrested for aggravated arson and vandalism. He was judged mentally competent to stand trial is being held in the county jail. When asked why he set the fires, he told investigators that he was watching some religious show and since he didn’t have any money to send in for an ‘authentic loafer worn by Jesus during the Last Supper’ he got depressed and cold.
As a defrocked Druid I feel for this poor guy. Instead of sending him bail money I sent him a set of long johns. Hallelujah!
posted by THE RANTING OLD GEEZER at 9:25 AM
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