HIGHER AND HIGHER

I’m so mad I could spit nails. I mean furious…vein sticking out of neck anger. I may burn my bra.

Bedford, TX., has set sexual equality back to the age of Murray the Viking. Murray was a chauvinist-pig whose favorite saying was, “Let’s get some pussy and beat the shit outta queers.”

It seems Texas’ elite All-State Choir eliminated a 17-year-old boy’s chance to audition for this famous choir as a soprano. These Texas rednecks decided that singing soprano is for girls only. Their decision has raised questions about gender discrimination. Damn right it has. Who says sopranos have to be girls only? Justice Scalia?

The Texas Music Educators Association on June 15 denied a request from Mikhael Rawls to audition this fall as a soprano. Rawls sings countertenor, a little known male voice that can only be heard by attentive hummingbirds. Countertenors have surged in popularity in operatic circles. Rawls can sing an octave and a half higher than Michael Jackson’s squeal when he can’t find a 12-year old. Mikhael, has even won first place as a soprano in the University Interscholastic League’s competition two years in a row. Tony Soprano has a collection of Rawls’ CDs…and if anyone knows a legit soprano it’s Tony, baby.

It seems this stuffy Texas association doesn’t allow boys to sing soprano or alto, or girls to sing baritone or basso. If they don’t watch themselves “Dikes on Bikes” will ride down and beat the shit out of them. If a chick wants to smoke a cigar and sing, “I’ll bitch slap you, ho.” What business is it of the Texas Music Educators Association?

“It seems to me that it’s time for the association to sort of wake up and see what’s happening around not only the United States of America but Europe,” renowned countertenor David Hirsh said in a telephone interview from London, where he is performing the lead role in Carmen.

Participating in All-State Choir is one of the highest honors available for Texas high school singers. Of the more than 20,000 students who audition, just more than 500 students are selected to participate in one of three choirs – men’s choir, a woman’s choir and a freak’s choir. Mikhael is willing to join any of them.

Let’s urge Texas to change its mind and let Mikhael sing any way he wants. If they bar him is karaoke or kazoo playing far behind?