I AM WHO I AM BUT IT'S NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS.

Identity theft has become an epidemic in America. It costs hundreds of millions of dollars every year as innocent individuals, corporations, retailers and government agency’s fall victim to this insidious crime. Statistics show identity theft has passed carjacking, shoplifting and drive-by slapping as law enforcement problems.

Citizens are warned to be very cautious about giving out personal information to anyone. When filling out applications for credit cards, loans and the like we are warned not to list social security, driver’s license, Medicare numbers and any other information that might help criminals in their quest to steal our identity.

Ordinary people are told they run the risk of incurring debts run up under their name by unscrupulous con men. This is making many men and women paranoid about being forthcoming; about answering simple questions. Its soooo bad that I know a few people when asked “How are you feeling?” Answer, “None of your business,” and run away. There is a case of a witness at a trial when asked if he’d swear to tell the truth and nothing but the truth?…answered he’d have to get back to the judge. When meeting someone in a cocktail lounge men and women are refusing to give their names when asked. They prefer to be called scotch on the rocks or vodka with a lime. A few have even refused to sign marriage certificates with their right name. You may not know the real name of your mate until the divorce. This is not only sick, it’s frightening. Just to be on the safe side if someone rings your doorbell, dressed like Elvis, and sings, “Happy Birthday,” you have every right to shoot them between the eyes.

There is nothing unusual about the crises in identity theft police say. “We get complaints by the thousands,” said Karl Niblick, a deputy chief with the Fort Wayne Police Department. Utility companies are a particularly popular way to use someone else’s identity. People get someone else’s name, birth date and Social Security number and turn on telephones, electricity or cable service and then never pay the bills. When the power or service is turned off, they get a new name and number and get new service, often in a new home, Niblick said. Social Security numbers have become a form of currency, sometimes every bit as good as a fistful of money to buy drugs. The drug dealer can sell the name and number or use it himself for anything from utility service to credit cards.

The hell with utility bills sent to innocent people. How about credit card charges that can bankrupt the victim? A sharp, industrious thief can use your identity when buying an expensive automobile…like a 1975 Yugo convertible. Actually, Yugo never made convertibles, the tops would just fall off. You could be sent a bill for a two week cruise to Love Canal or the Bermuda Triangle. How about a non-stop flight to beautiful Fallujah? Or, all expense shopping spree at a chic emporium in downtown Guam. Without any warning your credit could be ruined by identity theft.

Possibly the most bizarre case of identity theft occurred to Jabriona Terry from Fort Wayne, Ind. Her identity was stolen twice in less than a year. The interesting thing is that Jabriona is only 22 months old and her credit is already in the dumper. Even though she’s a little young to have her own phone, her mother discovered Jabriona’s name listed in the phone book and realized an acquaintance had used the little girl’s Social Security number to set up the phone service.

Someone else using her name and Social Security number listed Jabriona on his tax return, listing her as a dependent to get a larger tax refund. As you can imagine Jabriona’s mother is furious at these identity thefts. The only reason she hasn’t appeared on Judge Joe Brown’s TV Show is that 22-month-old Jabriona is also receiving monthly Social Security checks which seems only right.