MAD DOGS AND ENGLISHMEN.....
The English are a classy lot. They are often in the forefront of things: styles, music, literature and perversion. Who can ever forget mini-skirts, see-through blouses, Twiggy and Mary Quant? The Beatles, Rolling Stones and The Hostilities…a musical group that made no records, gave no performances but were voted “The Most Obnoxious, Un-Talented Musicians” by Billboard three years running. Willy Shakespeare, Charles Dickens and Reginald Cooper who created a catalogue of Hong Kong honeymoon accessories. As to the perversion part – everyone in Britain please stand up.
The Royals are in a class by themselves. One King was jailed, in the Tower of London, when his compulsion to live with a family of beavers became public knowledge; Queen Shirley insisted on having a pair of testicles hanging from the Royal carriage; and recently Prince Charles fucked his new/old bride Camilla so hard her freckles fell off. I love them all dearly and wish the occupants of the White House had an ounce of their craziness.
The thing I admire most about the Brits is that they are decent and loyal people. They care. “To illustrate the last remark, Jonah in the Whale, Noah in the Ark.” Enough with the Johnny Mercer lyrics.
It has been reported that British troops combating the heat, dust and danger of Iraq and Afghanistan have a new weapon in there armory. Unlike the poor American service men and women who still don’t have enough modern protective gear although it was promised two years ago…the British soldier’s equipment is among the best in the world, topped only by the Icelandic military. The latest addition to the British arsenal is – germ-fighting underwear.
The new antimicrobial underpants have been introduced by the Ministry of Defense as part of a new desert uniform for soldiers. “Hello, underpants, it’s a pleasure to meet you.” Actually, they are the first undergarments issued to British troops, who traditionally have had to supply their own. I didn’t say the Brits were perfect but almost so. Can you imagine American troops having to supply their own jockey shorts? “Say, what, motherfucker? I don’t wear no underwear, gotta let my Johnson breathe…you can ax my ount.”
Military officials said the unisex trunks were made from artificial fibers for comfort, with silver particles woven into the material to prevent sweating. Even though the British troops in Iraq and Afghanistan are all male they went unisex for all the cross-dressing soldiers. “It is coated to prevent bacterial infection, and we have tried to arrange the seams so that they don’t chafe,” Col. Silas Suchanek, who led the team that produced the new nappies. Yeah, like the Marines would give a crap about chaffing. Chafe this!
The army’s new desert kit also includes boots with rubber soles designed to withstand temperatures of up to 572 degrees, wraparound sunglasses, light Kevlar-nylon helmets and “combat sandals” for off-duty wear. A full make-up kit is optional.
The reason for the change in equipment is because in the past the British Army has faced criticism for allegedly inadequate equipment. A government report on a military exercise in Oman found that soldiers complained that standard-issue boots fell apart or melted in the sun and in some instances caused foot rot, while the man-made fibers of standard uniforms resulted in heat stress illnesses. Armed Forces Minister Adam Ingram said the new equipment would make Britain’s troops “among the best equipped in the world, ready to face environments ranging from desert conditions in Iraq, monsoon conditions in Brunel, to winter in the Balkans.”
Gunga-Din was the most famous casualty as a result of poor uniforms. His army-issue diaper caused him to sing “Granada” to an imaginary herring.
The Royals are in a class by themselves. One King was jailed, in the Tower of London, when his compulsion to live with a family of beavers became public knowledge; Queen Shirley insisted on having a pair of testicles hanging from the Royal carriage; and recently Prince Charles fucked his new/old bride Camilla so hard her freckles fell off. I love them all dearly and wish the occupants of the White House had an ounce of their craziness.
The thing I admire most about the Brits is that they are decent and loyal people. They care. “To illustrate the last remark, Jonah in the Whale, Noah in the Ark.” Enough with the Johnny Mercer lyrics.
It has been reported that British troops combating the heat, dust and danger of Iraq and Afghanistan have a new weapon in there armory. Unlike the poor American service men and women who still don’t have enough modern protective gear although it was promised two years ago…the British soldier’s equipment is among the best in the world, topped only by the Icelandic military. The latest addition to the British arsenal is – germ-fighting underwear.
The new antimicrobial underpants have been introduced by the Ministry of Defense as part of a new desert uniform for soldiers. “Hello, underpants, it’s a pleasure to meet you.” Actually, they are the first undergarments issued to British troops, who traditionally have had to supply their own. I didn’t say the Brits were perfect but almost so. Can you imagine American troops having to supply their own jockey shorts? “Say, what, motherfucker? I don’t wear no underwear, gotta let my Johnson breathe…you can ax my ount.”
Military officials said the unisex trunks were made from artificial fibers for comfort, with silver particles woven into the material to prevent sweating. Even though the British troops in Iraq and Afghanistan are all male they went unisex for all the cross-dressing soldiers. “It is coated to prevent bacterial infection, and we have tried to arrange the seams so that they don’t chafe,” Col. Silas Suchanek, who led the team that produced the new nappies. Yeah, like the Marines would give a crap about chaffing. Chafe this!
The army’s new desert kit also includes boots with rubber soles designed to withstand temperatures of up to 572 degrees, wraparound sunglasses, light Kevlar-nylon helmets and “combat sandals” for off-duty wear. A full make-up kit is optional.
The reason for the change in equipment is because in the past the British Army has faced criticism for allegedly inadequate equipment. A government report on a military exercise in Oman found that soldiers complained that standard-issue boots fell apart or melted in the sun and in some instances caused foot rot, while the man-made fibers of standard uniforms resulted in heat stress illnesses. Armed Forces Minister Adam Ingram said the new equipment would make Britain’s troops “among the best equipped in the world, ready to face environments ranging from desert conditions in Iraq, monsoon conditions in Brunel, to winter in the Balkans.”
Gunga-Din was the most famous casualty as a result of poor uniforms. His army-issue diaper caused him to sing “Granada” to an imaginary herring.
posted by THE RANTING OLD GEEZER at 4:37 PM
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