THE LITTLE WHITE LIE!

We are taught never to tell a lie. Some of our greatest Americans lived by that golden rule. George Washington confessed that he had indeed chopped down the family cherry tree when he was found with an electric saw and purple lips.

But far more didn’t confess their falsehoods and suffered for it. Abe Lincoln wouldn’t admit that he was only 5’-2”, wore lifts in his size 16 boots and was shot while watching a road company of Guys & Dolls. When Dick Nixon swore that he wasn’t a crook and had nothing to do with Watergate he was run out of office and was forced to consider suicide by inhaling next to a New York cabbie; Bill Clinton stuck to his fabrication that “he didn’t have sex with that woman” until he became pregnant with Monica’s child; and finally Vladimir Dubinsky, who for years claimed that he played first chair with the Vienna Symphony, was found out when he had to give the chair back. The lesson is, do not lie and if you do -- admit it immediately.

Lying gets you no where unless you are a member of Congress. Case in point: Ezzy Dame (a stripper’s name if I ever heard one), a high-fashion hairdresser and art enthusiast living in Reno, Nevada confessed to fibbing and feels better for it. Dame, 57, who has the finest collection of velvet Elvis paintings in the country had for long claimed to have played one of Willy Wonka’s “Ooompa Loompas” in the original 1971 motion picture now admits he was lying. The dirty swine!

He tearfully said the false claim seemed harmless at the time but grew into a beast of a deception. “It was not for fame or glory,” said Dame. “I never made a profit or earned a financial gain from this.” Oh, yeah, how about all the money he made from women who wanted to have their hair teased by an Ooompa Loompa? The wee 4 feet tall lying bastard posed for two decades as one of the original Oooompa Loompas. “There is something so special when a child looks at a little person and they’re not scared or feel that they’re looking at a freak.” Cher must identify with that. “When you say you played the part, they look at you and smile. They see you as a human being,” he said.

“I never intended to harm anyone or my community by this little white lie. It was a little white lie that became my haunted nightmare.” Notice that this underhanded midget uses the words, “little” constantly in his confession seeking sympathy. I say a pox on him. Dame said the nightmare began two decades ago after he put it on his acting resume on the advice of his agent in Los Angeles. His agent, Bernie told him to “pad” his resume with an acting credit from the 1971 film “Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory.” This false acting credit allowed Dame to get more important movie roles. He played John Wayne in the remake of “Shane” which Wayne wasn’t even in. Just shows how lies multiply and grow.

Ezzy Dame’s bogus story came to light when he had the chutzpah to criticize Tim Burton’s remake of “Charlie and the Chocolate Factory,” and compared the two films from an Ooompa Loompa’s perspective. That’s when the claim came to the attention of Rusty Goff, credited in the original film as an Ooompa Loompa. “There were only 10 original Ooompa Loompas,” Goff of England said. “There were six English guys, one English girl, one Turkish, one Maltese and one German.” Did Dame think Ooompa Loompas grew on trees?

Not only did Dame fabricate but he cemented the view of the “ugly American” by lying to film buffs all over the globe. I hope Mr. Dame is proud of himself. How can a young boy or girl look him in the eye and believe anything he says anymore? Probably by bending down.