NO CAMERAS, PLEASE.

Instead of the Nobel Committee awarding their six yearly prizes – they can wrap them all up into one Award and give it to The Ranting Old Geezer this year. My Award won’t be for something as boring and useless as Chemistry or Physics. It will given to me for, “Being the Smartest Dude in the Entire World plus Altoona, Pa. Why do I deserve such a prestigious Award? That’s a pretty pushy thing to ask the Smartest Dude in the World plus Altoona, Pa., but being a magnanimous and exalted Award winner I will answer the question.

I have a solution to the political malaise in the country. Unlike those who believe that cameras should be mandatory in the Supreme Court Chambers I propose that cameras be banned in the District of Columbia. That means that no member of the House or Senate can have his or her picture taken, no on-air interviews will be allowed, no guest appearances on TV or radio shows, no newspaper interviews – all of this under the penalty of death. Taking away the ability of a politician to preen and babble nonsensically in front of a camera will destroy the reason all of them run for office. For those politicians who claim that it would be cruel and inhuman treatment, the Geezer says, “A pox on you and your media advisor.”

Every politician is addicted to publicity and self-promotion. That’s their reason for being. Take that away and they’ll have no reason to hold office – besides taking money from special interest groups. In recent history no Washington politician has left office poorer than he or she was when they first were elected! None! If real campaign reform was ever instituted and cameras bared from the Congress the bozos now holding office would stay home, running their linoleum stores and boring their wives and kids. That would allow high-minded, dedicated, serious people to take their place and government would once again function. How long has it been since someone has been called a “great” Senator or House member? Not since cameras have been allowed to televise floor debates, committee meetings and other congressional business. Show a politician a camera and they turn into one of The Three Stooges.

The latest Judiciary Committee meeting on a Supreme Court nominee was the icing on the cake. The idea is for the Committee to interview and question possible nominees in order to find out if they have the intellect and judicial temperament to be approved for the Court. It’s called advice and consent in the Constitution. However, what truly happens is Senators, of both political parties, who have really already made up their minds about the candidate to posture, babble and make horse’s asses of themselves. No one ever told Senators that one of the requirements when asking a question is to have a question mark at the end of the sentence.

When given 20 minutes to quiz a nominee a Senator will talk for all 20 of the minutes without asking a single question. It’s more important to them to bore us with their supposed knowledge than learn anything from the candidate. Before cameras became part of the Washington scenery governmental business was carried out successfully and without theatrics.

The Geezer insists that doing away with instantaneous publicity and photo ops will cure our government from what ails it. If my idea is adopted I’m willing to ease the addiction politicos have by presenting them a full length mirror which they can take with them and talk to themselves until they’re blue in the face. At least we won’t have to hear them anymore. It’s not quite “cold turkey” but it’s a start.