SUE ME, SUE ME, SHOOT BULLETS THRU ME.

Are lawsuits necessary? The complaint is that the United States is the most litigious country in the world. People sue each other at the drop of a lawyer. Some claim that most of these law suits are frivolous and baseless. Money grubbing attorneys are blamed for these excesses.

There have been many famous lawsuits that were brought which on the face of it look ridiculous and a waste of courtroom time. Who can ever forget the lawsuit against the Barcalounger company when a customer sued them claiming that as soon as his lounger was delivered he was forced to have rough sex with a Finish fisherman hiding in it. The City of New York sued a homeless woman for trying to commit suicide by inhaling an Iranian cabbie. The youngster who sued Pet Co when his goldfish began singing, “I Got Rhythm.” The list goes on and on.

Judges have better things to do with their time than preside over nonsensical cases. For instance they have resumes to prepare in order to get their own TV courtroom show. Judge Ito, of O.J. fame, is trying to sell his own television series called, “Courtroom Idiot.”

A new lawsuit was just filed by the family of a deceased man against the Benihana restaurant chain. Let me say that I am not a huge fan of Japanese steak houses that prepare the food right before the customer’s eyes. I don’t enjoy sitting around an oily gas range watching a chef, in a kimono, do tricks with sharp knives that looks like something out of Kill Bill 2. After they get done doing their shtick they stand around waiting for loud applause. If you don’t put your hands together they are liable to cut one off.

The law suit against Benihana was brought claiming that a male member of the family was killed at one of the chains facilities. Here’s what they claim, the deceased was sitting around watching the chef do his thing when a shrimp flew off one of the knives and headed for the customer – the customer mistaking the shrimp for an incoming scud missile turn his head quickly to avoid the crustacean – and this involuntary jerking off his head caused a whiplash injury. The neck injury was more severe than anyone thought and the family swears the man died soon after. They are asking for millions of dollars in their lawsuit. Legally they are claiming Benihana's employee with using a dangerous, unlicensed shrimp. The NRA is looking into the claim.
So far they have not decided whether to sue the shrimp for pain and suffering.

As expected, Benihana claims the law suit has no basis in fact and threatens to take the case all the way up to the Supreme Court. Insiders believe that Justice Alito is a friend of seafood and will rule in their favor. However, to play safe, Benihana is now issuing baseball mitts to all customers in case a flying shrimp comes their way.