GET IT IN WRITING!

Any rich person will tell you that getting married without a prenuptial agreement is stupid. It has to be in writing because as the late Sam Goldwyn used to say, “A verbal agreement ain’t worth the paper it’s printed on.”

Some people object to prenups. Potential husbands and wives seem to think that signing a prenuptial is demeaning and forecasts the lack of trust in the relationship. On the other hand slimy divorce lawyers insist that without an airtight prenup, ugly claims for the wealthiest partner’s fortune will tear families apart and result in vicious years of court wrangling. They usually say that with a wink of the eye and “cat swallowed mouse” smile.

There have been many cases of old, wealthy men who marry very young women – often strippers or exotic dancers – and at their death a prenup is found leaving his millions to her and not his legitimate children. Do the name Anna Nichol Smith come to mind? Anna swears that she and her husband in his 90s dearly loved each other and had many things in common. They both loved soup. She protests with her last ounce of breast…I, meant, breath…breath not breast…that he wanted her to inherit his many of hundreds of millions rather than his lousy son.

For all those who believe in prenuptials with the same passion as they do The Tooth Fairy the Geezer has news. Before you put that last fang under the pillow read on.

A Sanford, Florida couple thought they had the secret to marital bliss. They signed a prenup containing some eccentric and amusing demands just to prove that their marriage didn’t really need one and would be a long and loving one. Before exchanging vows in 2001, the couple agreed to a quirky prenuptial agreement much to the horror of friends. The wife promised to cook breakfast at least four times a week, and, in return, the husband promised not to wake his bride up on her “off days,” according to the document. The agreement also required him to rub her back three times a week for five minutes. If she used a certain expletive, she would be sentenced to one hour of yard work. He would pay a fine of $5 each time he complained, nagged or made “a fuss about her expenditures.” They left out the part about yodeling in the shower or walking pigeon-toed through the daisies.

Despite their carefully laid plans and laugh-filled prenup the marriage lasted a grand total of 3-1/2 months. She was served notice of a divorce suit. Without telling her he secretly went to court and got a default judgment against her. Documents show that he was granted an uncontested divorce without her knowing about it or appearing in court. Guess their marriage license wasn’t worth the paper it was printed on.

Here is a case where a couple prepared a prenuptial agreement as they were advised by Donald Trump on a television talk show where he expounded, as he is wont to do, on many things including the secret of his three or four unsuccessful marriages. This couple listened and thought their troubles were over. They had all angles covered. They were doing the right thing. It just goes to show that a legal document doesn’t mean spit if at the end of the day he felt, in the words of Henny Youngman, “Take my wife, please.”