OUR TROOPS NEED BREASTS.
Don’t you love amazing true stories? Stories that stop you in your tracks and make you wonder if someone is pulling a fast one. One of my favorite amazing stories appeared in The Star. The headline was “Parents give birth to a baby wearing glasses. They both have twenty-twenty vision.” Another was: “Man claims that he woke up and found himself running in the Preakness.” Apparently he paid $25.00 for show.
This latest story caught my attention. It comes out of Jerusalem. As everyone knows Israel has been facing attacks from terrorist groups bent on driving Jews into the sea and having them land in Miami. It seems during the recent rocket attacks from Hamas an Israeli woman was hit with shrapnel from a rocket and sustained only minor injuries. Why? Her breast implants saved her life. The shrapnel embedded in the silicone implants just inches from the 24-year-old’s heart. “She was saved from death,” said a hospital spokesman.
Let’s think about this. Many women who have had breast implants try to keep it a secret although a 49 inch breast is tough to hide. Other women proudly point to their new breasts which are usually pointing by themselves. This incident has done more to publicize breast implants than Pamela Anderson. One Hollywood plastic surgeon’s TV ads have him wearing a helmet and promising to save potential implant clients from everything including a nuclear attack.
If breast implants are that strong why doesn’t the Pentagon, which has been criticized for not providing our troops in Iraq with body armor use implants instead? They’re probably cheaper and would take the pressure off the civilians in the Defense Department who obviously are not concerned with our troops being killed. Give every soldier, marine, Special Forces and other troop’s breast implants? They don’t have to necessarily have the implants put in their bodies – they can just wear them outside their uniforms. Can you hear it now, “Hey sergeant I love your new breasts. Can I have a feel?” And think about the Lebanese Islamic insurgents - Since they never see knockers because their women are forced to wear tents, American troops attacking with huge implants will scare the crap out of them. Just think protection and a moral builder in one fell swoop.
If this Israeli yenta can deflect a rocket let’s make sure our troops are given the latest in boobs. This might win a Congressional Medal of Honor for the Geezer. I’d wear it proudly on my right 39-D-Cup.
This latest story caught my attention. It comes out of Jerusalem. As everyone knows Israel has been facing attacks from terrorist groups bent on driving Jews into the sea and having them land in Miami. It seems during the recent rocket attacks from Hamas an Israeli woman was hit with shrapnel from a rocket and sustained only minor injuries. Why? Her breast implants saved her life. The shrapnel embedded in the silicone implants just inches from the 24-year-old’s heart. “She was saved from death,” said a hospital spokesman.
Let’s think about this. Many women who have had breast implants try to keep it a secret although a 49 inch breast is tough to hide. Other women proudly point to their new breasts which are usually pointing by themselves. This incident has done more to publicize breast implants than Pamela Anderson. One Hollywood plastic surgeon’s TV ads have him wearing a helmet and promising to save potential implant clients from everything including a nuclear attack.
If breast implants are that strong why doesn’t the Pentagon, which has been criticized for not providing our troops in Iraq with body armor use implants instead? They’re probably cheaper and would take the pressure off the civilians in the Defense Department who obviously are not concerned with our troops being killed. Give every soldier, marine, Special Forces and other troop’s breast implants? They don’t have to necessarily have the implants put in their bodies – they can just wear them outside their uniforms. Can you hear it now, “Hey sergeant I love your new breasts. Can I have a feel?” And think about the Lebanese Islamic insurgents - Since they never see knockers because their women are forced to wear tents, American troops attacking with huge implants will scare the crap out of them. Just think protection and a moral builder in one fell swoop.
If this Israeli yenta can deflect a rocket let’s make sure our troops are given the latest in boobs. This might win a Congressional Medal of Honor for the Geezer. I’d wear it proudly on my right 39-D-Cup.
posted by THE RANTING OLD GEEZER at 12:42 PM
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