BREASTS ARE FOREVER.

There’s an old truism saying, “There’s no honor among thieves.” There’s also one saying, “Don’t pee on my leg and tell me it’s raining.” Apparently a new saying goes something like this: “There is no honor or honesty in breasts.”

It seems that plastic surgeons in Berlin are up in arms about women patients who decided to run out without paying for their plastic breast enlargement surgery. Talk about tacky. It would have been really ugly and messy if they tried to dash out during the operation. How rude and inconsiderate for these fake-knocker recipients to scam Dr. Adolph out of his fee. As most of us know, Germans have a history of denial. The owners of the Himler Weight Loss Centers insist that the 200 calorie diet they put people on has proven successful before.

These frauleins have more chutzpah than the former defrocked weather man who boasted about purposefully bumping into blind people. The surgeons were so angry that they could have spit their sauerbraten all over their schnauzers but instead of pouting they decided to take action. “The women registered under fake names,” said one of the doctors. “After the operation, which lasted about an hour, they just ran away with their huge plastic boobs!” One of these dishonest cons named “Tanja” went out for ‘fresh air’ after 8,000-euro, or $10,000 surgery to enlarge her breasts. While she was getting her breast implants she decided to have her little Hitler mustache cut off. “She never came back and never paid,” said the embarrassed Doc. Perhaps he should have smelled a rotten schnitzel when “Tanja” had a nametag reading “Helmut.”

Rather than expect the German police to go around checking out all Berlin’s female tits – the doctors furnished the police with pictures of the scam artists’ enlarged breasts. Newspapers published a five-column picture of Tanja’s naked breasts which are now big enough to suckle all of Bulgaria. Sales of the newspapers rose higher than Tanja’s surprised husband’s shmeckle.

Germany’s Ten Most Wanted list now has six pictures of mammarys next to a photo of a Nazi Amish gang-banger. “They’re probably the most unusual wanted posters police ever had.” When she's caught and booked I guess she has to submit to a nipple-print.

Hopefully this disgusting scam will not be imported to the U.S of A. Otherwise all our ‘secretaries’ will be wanted criminals. My ex wouldn’t make the list, she was flatter than a 13-year olds training bra.