MIRACLES DO HAPPEN.
I love miracles. I totally believe in them. It was a miracle that my ex-wife and I stayed together for a year and a half. I’ll never forget our wedding night. I turned to her and huskily said, “Let’s have sex.” She replied, “Tonight?”
There, of course, have been many authenticated miracles. Some skeptics and cynics pooh-pooh them but those poor souls don’t believe in Santa, the Easter bunny or Publisher’s Clearinghouse. One of my favorite miracles is the chap who was able to resume his life after serving 12-years in prison for mispronouncing the word ‘diphthong.’ A lesser man would have come out bitter and angry but not him. It probably helped that he spent his childhood posing as a shepherd to fool his parents.
Many TV evangelists proclaim miracles and offer to send you religious artifacts to prove the miracle. These artifacts aren’t free, my friend, you have to send all of your life’s savings or your first born in order to receive the item COD. The very Reverend Bubba Bubba proudly offered his television audience - all true believers - that if they contributed their gold fillings in order for him to build the Bubba Bubba University/Beef Jerky Stand – he would send them an actual fragment from Jesus’ actual Nehru jacket. How could anybody pass up the offer?
Ye of so little faith like to ridicule and mock seemingly wondrous and astonishing ‘miracles’ that happen every day. Why did you treat that lovely woman in Missoula, Idaho with pitiless taunts when she proclaimed that a homemade jelly donut had the likeness of Joan of Arc…or, Joan Rivers on it? Did you have to minimize her faith and beliefs? What about the 13-year old boy in Texas who swore that Jimmy Swaggert broke into his bedroom and shampooed him? He thought it was a miracle since he was an Orthodox Jew.
For the naysayers among you there is no refuting this miracle. It’s irrefutable and totally amazing. There is ‘proof’ from Kazakhstan, a large, thinly populated Central Asian state where Sunni Islam is the dominant religion follow closely by Druidism, that a chicken in a small village has laid an egg with the word “Allah” inscribed on its shell. How ‘bout them apples? “Our mosque confirmed that it says ‘Allah’ in Arabic,” Bites Amantayeva, a farmer from the village of Stepnoi in eastern Kazakhstan. There were some doubters in his village that thought the inscription on the egg might have been, ‘Ah, Shit this egg hurt my ass.’
It seems that the egg was laid just after a powerful hail storm hit the village. The chicken was probably scared out of its wits by the storm. Do chickens have wits? The farmer insists that he will keep this egg and not try to sell it on eBay.
This astonishing miracle should make you doubters get down on your knees and pray that someone will help you up.
There, of course, have been many authenticated miracles. Some skeptics and cynics pooh-pooh them but those poor souls don’t believe in Santa, the Easter bunny or Publisher’s Clearinghouse. One of my favorite miracles is the chap who was able to resume his life after serving 12-years in prison for mispronouncing the word ‘diphthong.’ A lesser man would have come out bitter and angry but not him. It probably helped that he spent his childhood posing as a shepherd to fool his parents.
Many TV evangelists proclaim miracles and offer to send you religious artifacts to prove the miracle. These artifacts aren’t free, my friend, you have to send all of your life’s savings or your first born in order to receive the item COD. The very Reverend Bubba Bubba proudly offered his television audience - all true believers - that if they contributed their gold fillings in order for him to build the Bubba Bubba University/Beef Jerky Stand – he would send them an actual fragment from Jesus’ actual Nehru jacket. How could anybody pass up the offer?
Ye of so little faith like to ridicule and mock seemingly wondrous and astonishing ‘miracles’ that happen every day. Why did you treat that lovely woman in Missoula, Idaho with pitiless taunts when she proclaimed that a homemade jelly donut had the likeness of Joan of Arc…or, Joan Rivers on it? Did you have to minimize her faith and beliefs? What about the 13-year old boy in Texas who swore that Jimmy Swaggert broke into his bedroom and shampooed him? He thought it was a miracle since he was an Orthodox Jew.
For the naysayers among you there is no refuting this miracle. It’s irrefutable and totally amazing. There is ‘proof’ from Kazakhstan, a large, thinly populated Central Asian state where Sunni Islam is the dominant religion follow closely by Druidism, that a chicken in a small village has laid an egg with the word “Allah” inscribed on its shell. How ‘bout them apples? “Our mosque confirmed that it says ‘Allah’ in Arabic,” Bites Amantayeva, a farmer from the village of Stepnoi in eastern Kazakhstan. There were some doubters in his village that thought the inscription on the egg might have been, ‘Ah, Shit this egg hurt my ass.’
It seems that the egg was laid just after a powerful hail storm hit the village. The chicken was probably scared out of its wits by the storm. Do chickens have wits? The farmer insists that he will keep this egg and not try to sell it on eBay.
This astonishing miracle should make you doubters get down on your knees and pray that someone will help you up.
posted by THE RANTING OLD GEEZER at 9:50 AM
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