SWELL AND GOLLY!

Each year corporations and businesses spend millions of dollars hiring focus groups, P.R. firms and media advisors to help them select brand names that will catch on with the public. The success of their products depends on this. Many years ago a major soap company was about to bring out a new laundry soap and they decided to test the name. In that the executives of this soap company were ‘Timmy’s’ who wore brown shoes with white socks and used words like, “golly” and “swell” – and had wives named, “Buffy” and “Muffy” you can imagine how they identified with normal people. They called together a few “New York” types (see Jews) and asked for their advice. The soap company execs proudly unveiled their new soap, “Dreck”. The “New Yorkers” insisted on cash before rendering their advice. When they pointed out to these Babbits that “Dreck” meant shit in Yiddish – and that their advertising campaign would probably go something like this: “I love to wash my clothes in shit.” The “Timmy’s” paid the cash and said, “Golly.”

There are many companies who have successfully packaged and advertised their products. Kentucky Fried Chicken became an instant hit by having a white bearded, white suited, old gentleman as their spokesman. They called him Colonel Sanders and customers ate him up along with the greasy chicken. In truth he was a bum from Brooklyn named, Mendel Goldfarb. MacDonald’s put up their golden arches and is still raking in billions. Bob’s Big Boy decided on a huge sign showing a fat kid on roller skates and the company flourished.

It’s no wonder that entrepreneurs are still searching for that ‘certain thing’ that will help their enterprise become successful. Puneet Sablok, of Bombay, India was about to open a restaurant and knew he had to attract attention to the place. His solution was to name his restaurant after Adolph Hitler. Yes, old Puneet festooned his eatery with Nazi swastikas and pictures of Adolph along with his merry band of murderers. The shop owner of “Hitler’s Cross” thought he had done a bit of all right until the joint opened. Obviously the diaper on his head was wound too tight. When the shit or curry hit the fan there was a storm of protests and people picketing the eatery especially from Bombay’s small Jewish community.. He was shocked and surprised at the reaction. “He realized he made a mistake and listened to reason,” said Elijah Jacob, a community leader. “Some people have wrong conceptions of history and he realized it was not appropriate.” “Once they told me how upset they were with the name, I decided to change it,” Puneet said. “I don’t want to do business by hurting people.” The restaurant serves pizza, salads and pastries so Sablok is thinking of a non-controversial name like, Osama Bib Laden.

I wonder when he discovered his goof if Puneet said, “Golly” or “Oy Vey!”