THIS IS THE CAPTAIN SPEAKING..
One of my great pleasures in life besides watching a dwarf play ‘Hora Staccato’ on a comb and tissue paper is to discover some self-important person in an embarrassing situation. The ones that consider themselves dignified and great and without them the rest of us would be forced to have intercourse with a pelican for fun. You know who I’m talking about, the men and women whose intellect is a mile wide and an inch deep.
I was tickled about a story out of Ottawa, Canada. I happen to know and love Canada, and in fact, was once given the keys to the city of Oshawa – actually it wasn’t keys it was a snow shovel. Butwhatthehey. I’ll bet all of us are always impressed when seated on airline flight to hear the reassuring voice of the Captain. With their deep, dulcet tones they make everything seem all right. That’s why when one of them screws up it brings me more laughs than a Three-Stooges film festival.
A pilot of a Canadian airliner who went to the washroom during a flight found himself locked out of the cockpit, forcing the crew to remove the door from its hinges to let him back in. Of course, if there had been an Islamic terrorist aboard he could have jimmied the door with his pen knife or box cutters. The incident occurred on a flight from Ottawa to Winnipeg. The regional jet carried 50 passengers and two hijackers.
With 30 minutes of the flight to go, the pilot went into the washroom, leaving the first officer in charge. The pilot denied trying to futz around with the smoke detector while he lit up marijuana. Anyway, when he tried to get back into the cockpit, the door would not open. “The door malfunctioned…this is a rare occurrence, “a spokesperson for the airlines said. She continued, “The crew’s decision to remove the door had been in line with company policy.” Apparently the airline’s policy also permits the crew to change a flat tire while the plane is in the air.
For about ten minutes passengers described seeing the pilot bang on the door, shout epithets in French and communicate with the cockpit through an internal telephone, but being unable to open the door. One passenger said, “It was a bit dramatic but why the hell did he try using the bathroom in first class? We aren’t allowed even if our kidneys are drowning. What’s good for the gander is good for a stupid French pilot.”
The airline stressed that at no time had the plane or passengers been in danger even though the first officer had never flown before.
I was tickled about a story out of Ottawa, Canada. I happen to know and love Canada, and in fact, was once given the keys to the city of Oshawa – actually it wasn’t keys it was a snow shovel. Butwhatthehey. I’ll bet all of us are always impressed when seated on airline flight to hear the reassuring voice of the Captain. With their deep, dulcet tones they make everything seem all right. That’s why when one of them screws up it brings me more laughs than a Three-Stooges film festival.
A pilot of a Canadian airliner who went to the washroom during a flight found himself locked out of the cockpit, forcing the crew to remove the door from its hinges to let him back in. Of course, if there had been an Islamic terrorist aboard he could have jimmied the door with his pen knife or box cutters. The incident occurred on a flight from Ottawa to Winnipeg. The regional jet carried 50 passengers and two hijackers.
With 30 minutes of the flight to go, the pilot went into the washroom, leaving the first officer in charge. The pilot denied trying to futz around with the smoke detector while he lit up marijuana. Anyway, when he tried to get back into the cockpit, the door would not open. “The door malfunctioned…this is a rare occurrence, “a spokesperson for the airlines said. She continued, “The crew’s decision to remove the door had been in line with company policy.” Apparently the airline’s policy also permits the crew to change a flat tire while the plane is in the air.
For about ten minutes passengers described seeing the pilot bang on the door, shout epithets in French and communicate with the cockpit through an internal telephone, but being unable to open the door. One passenger said, “It was a bit dramatic but why the hell did he try using the bathroom in first class? We aren’t allowed even if our kidneys are drowning. What’s good for the gander is good for a stupid French pilot.”
The airline stressed that at no time had the plane or passengers been in danger even though the first officer had never flown before.
posted by THE RANTING OLD GEEZER at 5:16 PM
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