WHAT'S WRONG WITH KIDS TODAY?
Paul Lynde, in Bye-Bye-Birdie sang, “What’s The Matter With Kids Today,” which was a lament about how nuts kids are. Experts claim that children drive their parents crazy. It’s not a drive, it’s a putt.
Many teenagers have become adrenaline junkies seeking ways to top each other by doing outrageous, dangerous things. Dangerous activities aren’t new, but experts say today’s youth are more likely to try them – and take more risks than previous generations. To my generation, actually getting up to change the channel on our TV was considered quite a feat. That was before remote controls were available. We had to actually stand on our feet and walk to the television set. I’m exhausted just thinking about it. And, if that wasn’t dangerous enough how about eating TV dinners?
“Taking a chance is certainly part of the teenage psyche – but we’re seeing an enormous amount of it of late,” says Frank Farley, a psychologist at Temple University who’s been studying risk-takers since the 1960s. Two young people have recently died in Idaho – no, not from boredom – from trying to get a buzz by cutting off the blood supply to their brains. The trend toward dangerous stunts clearly cross the line of common sense – such as “the choking game” and more calculated risk-taking, such as extreme sports with trick-heavy competitions involving skateboards, snowboards, BMX bikes and sitting on top of an air hose. Stop! Whoever claimed that kids had common sense? Or, even brains?
“My generation is looking to be different; they’re looking for ways to be individuals,” says Christopher Sorichetti from his San Diego hospital bed. Chris has been doing high-flying bicycle stunts since he was 12. “My sport is almost like a rebel sport. For the guys, it’s kind of like a bad boy image. You’re popular, pretty much, because you’re known as a bad boy.” He has ruptured a kidney, punctured a lung and broken more bones than a collector for a shylock. No one has mentioned that young Chris probably also scrambled his brains.
Among the other fun things teens are doing, is: surfing atop moving vehicles, choking each other, pepper-spraying a friend or jumping off a building. Let’s all join Paul Lynde singing the second chorus at the top of our lungs.
Technology has given young people the ability to share their stunts with one another by way of the Internet. Just click on: “I’m an Idiot.com. “In this wired world, you can link with other people doing these things instantly. And it develops a kind of camaraderie – almost a license to do it,” says Dr. Farley. “In earlier time, we didn’t have such instant access to peer validation.” So, it’s clear that many teens are doing these stupid, dangerous stunts for peers and because most are retarded or when growing up didn’t eat enough lima beans.
If you think your child or grandchild has potential to become one of these risk-takers there are two things you can do. First, see how long he or she can smile with their head under molten lava or talk them into trying to suffocate by hiding in a large crepe. These “Type T” personality kids (T for thrill-seeking) have certain traits to look for before they grow up and become a danger to themselves.
* As a baby did he insist on wearing his diaper over his face?
* Instead of playing with rattles or teething rings, did the baby
prefer to play with live hand grenades?
* When being fed did they only eat with their hands, especially
soup and gravy?
* As a toddler did he or she show aggressive tendencies, arguing
with Big Bird or Barney at the drop of a diphthong?
* Did your 3-year old call Mr. Rogers a faggot?
* Was the child highly creative, with high-energy and found all
classes boring except for “Bomb Making #101” and “Sniper
#203”?
Parents should be aware of what their children are doing at all times so they can talk to them about it….hopefully by long distance phone. Make sure you have enough health coverage to cover your teen’s hobbies. Making advanced funeral arrangements for your offspring is also a good idea for today’s mom and dad.
Many teenagers have become adrenaline junkies seeking ways to top each other by doing outrageous, dangerous things. Dangerous activities aren’t new, but experts say today’s youth are more likely to try them – and take more risks than previous generations. To my generation, actually getting up to change the channel on our TV was considered quite a feat. That was before remote controls were available. We had to actually stand on our feet and walk to the television set. I’m exhausted just thinking about it. And, if that wasn’t dangerous enough how about eating TV dinners?
“Taking a chance is certainly part of the teenage psyche – but we’re seeing an enormous amount of it of late,” says Frank Farley, a psychologist at Temple University who’s been studying risk-takers since the 1960s. Two young people have recently died in Idaho – no, not from boredom – from trying to get a buzz by cutting off the blood supply to their brains. The trend toward dangerous stunts clearly cross the line of common sense – such as “the choking game” and more calculated risk-taking, such as extreme sports with trick-heavy competitions involving skateboards, snowboards, BMX bikes and sitting on top of an air hose. Stop! Whoever claimed that kids had common sense? Or, even brains?
“My generation is looking to be different; they’re looking for ways to be individuals,” says Christopher Sorichetti from his San Diego hospital bed. Chris has been doing high-flying bicycle stunts since he was 12. “My sport is almost like a rebel sport. For the guys, it’s kind of like a bad boy image. You’re popular, pretty much, because you’re known as a bad boy.” He has ruptured a kidney, punctured a lung and broken more bones than a collector for a shylock. No one has mentioned that young Chris probably also scrambled his brains.
Among the other fun things teens are doing, is: surfing atop moving vehicles, choking each other, pepper-spraying a friend or jumping off a building. Let’s all join Paul Lynde singing the second chorus at the top of our lungs.
Technology has given young people the ability to share their stunts with one another by way of the Internet. Just click on: “I’m an Idiot.com. “In this wired world, you can link with other people doing these things instantly. And it develops a kind of camaraderie – almost a license to do it,” says Dr. Farley. “In earlier time, we didn’t have such instant access to peer validation.” So, it’s clear that many teens are doing these stupid, dangerous stunts for peers and because most are retarded or when growing up didn’t eat enough lima beans.
If you think your child or grandchild has potential to become one of these risk-takers there are two things you can do. First, see how long he or she can smile with their head under molten lava or talk them into trying to suffocate by hiding in a large crepe. These “Type T” personality kids (T for thrill-seeking) have certain traits to look for before they grow up and become a danger to themselves.
* As a baby did he insist on wearing his diaper over his face?
* Instead of playing with rattles or teething rings, did the baby
prefer to play with live hand grenades?
* When being fed did they only eat with their hands, especially
soup and gravy?
* As a toddler did he or she show aggressive tendencies, arguing
with Big Bird or Barney at the drop of a diphthong?
* Did your 3-year old call Mr. Rogers a faggot?
* Was the child highly creative, with high-energy and found all
classes boring except for “Bomb Making #101” and “Sniper
#203”?
Parents should be aware of what their children are doing at all times so they can talk to them about it….hopefully by long distance phone. Make sure you have enough health coverage to cover your teen’s hobbies. Making advanced funeral arrangements for your offspring is also a good idea for today’s mom and dad.
posted by THE RANTING OLD GEEZER at 7:37 AM
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