A DUBIOUS HONOR!
Celebrities have a pretty good life. Interesting work for which they make lots of money. Possibly not as much as an energetic hooker in Beverly Hills but damn close. Most have multiple houses in fantastic resorts, have millions of fans who live vicariously through their favorite stars existence, are generally pampered by agents, managers, publicity agents, studios, networks and staff. It’s fair to say that almost any average man or woman would give anything to be a celebrity. Sure there are some negative aspects to being famous – lack of privacy and being hounded by stalkers and paparazzi…but hell it’s a small sacrifice to pay for all the benefits they get. Even the reclusive Madame De Pompadour admitted that being famous was better than getting kicked in the gonads.
During the past many years some of the ways celebs have been honored is by having a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame; their hand-prints in cement at tourist popular Grauman’s Chinese Theater (Peg Leg Bates only had one footprint and a peg) but it was the thought that counts, Schools are named after many celebrities especially in their home towns eg: the Kookie Burns High School in Bipus, Indiana, but the ultimate prize is having a dish or sandwich named after them. If a star has a food named after him or her, career-wise it’s more important than an Oscar, Emmy, Tony or weed-whacker. Imagine how thrilling it is for a fan in an overpriced New York deli to order a “Don Ameche” – chopped liver on rye with onion and cole slaw; a “Sam Levenson” – schmaltz herring on pumpernickel with tomato and hard boiled egg; a “Faye Emerson” – two large melons; or a “Pat Boone” – two pieces of white bread and mayo.
Bill Clinton has just been notified that he was chosen for a new honor. His face and name will not appear on a stamp or an aircraft carrier or on Mt. Rushmore -- this special, singular honor has never been given to any celebrity before. China has jumped into this celebrity honoring craze. A Beijing rubber company has begun marketing condoms under the brand names Clinton and Lewinsky. This is an obviously blatant exploitation the White House affair that led to the impeachment of America’s 42nd president. One can only imagine how thrilled Bill Clinton must be to have a scum bag named after him. Rumor has it that Ms. Lewinsky didn’t know what a condom was.
Spokesman Liu Wenhua of the Guangzhou Rubber Company said the company was handing out 100,000 free Clinton and Lewinsky condoms as part of a promotion to raise consumer awareness if its new products. He said that after the promotion ends, the Clinton condoms will go on sale in southern China for $3.72 for a box of 12, while the Lewinsky model will be priced at $2.35 for the same box. Militant Women’s Rights Groups in America are up in arms about the disparity in cost. “Hey, dude, Monica’s baggie is equally as valuable as Hillary’s pimp.”
“The Clinton condom will be the top of our line,” he said. “The Lewinsky condom is not quite as good.” Huh? What’s wrong with it? Does it have holes in it? Was it a previously owned condom? Not a very cool sales pitch Charlie Chan.
It should be noted that they are considering merchandising a Chairman Mao condom which will be packaged in a little red book. Liu said the company had chosen to use the Clinton name because consumers viewed the former president as a responsible person, who would want to stress safe sex. He also admitted that Clinton and Lewinsky weren’t consulted about this dubious “honor.” There is no word about a royalty being paid to either one or whether their picture will be on each condom.
Senator Hillary Clinton, who is being bandied about as a possible Democratic candidate for President in ’08, only comment when she heard the news was, “Damn fucking chinks…hope they eat poisoned egg rolls and die.” Bill Clinton was said to be disappointed that a cigar wasn’t named after Monica and him.
During the past many years some of the ways celebs have been honored is by having a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame; their hand-prints in cement at tourist popular Grauman’s Chinese Theater (Peg Leg Bates only had one footprint and a peg) but it was the thought that counts, Schools are named after many celebrities especially in their home towns eg: the Kookie Burns High School in Bipus, Indiana, but the ultimate prize is having a dish or sandwich named after them. If a star has a food named after him or her, career-wise it’s more important than an Oscar, Emmy, Tony or weed-whacker. Imagine how thrilling it is for a fan in an overpriced New York deli to order a “Don Ameche” – chopped liver on rye with onion and cole slaw; a “Sam Levenson” – schmaltz herring on pumpernickel with tomato and hard boiled egg; a “Faye Emerson” – two large melons; or a “Pat Boone” – two pieces of white bread and mayo.
Bill Clinton has just been notified that he was chosen for a new honor. His face and name will not appear on a stamp or an aircraft carrier or on Mt. Rushmore -- this special, singular honor has never been given to any celebrity before. China has jumped into this celebrity honoring craze. A Beijing rubber company has begun marketing condoms under the brand names Clinton and Lewinsky. This is an obviously blatant exploitation the White House affair that led to the impeachment of America’s 42nd president. One can only imagine how thrilled Bill Clinton must be to have a scum bag named after him. Rumor has it that Ms. Lewinsky didn’t know what a condom was.
Spokesman Liu Wenhua of the Guangzhou Rubber Company said the company was handing out 100,000 free Clinton and Lewinsky condoms as part of a promotion to raise consumer awareness if its new products. He said that after the promotion ends, the Clinton condoms will go on sale in southern China for $3.72 for a box of 12, while the Lewinsky model will be priced at $2.35 for the same box. Militant Women’s Rights Groups in America are up in arms about the disparity in cost. “Hey, dude, Monica’s baggie is equally as valuable as Hillary’s pimp.”
“The Clinton condom will be the top of our line,” he said. “The Lewinsky condom is not quite as good.” Huh? What’s wrong with it? Does it have holes in it? Was it a previously owned condom? Not a very cool sales pitch Charlie Chan.
It should be noted that they are considering merchandising a Chairman Mao condom which will be packaged in a little red book. Liu said the company had chosen to use the Clinton name because consumers viewed the former president as a responsible person, who would want to stress safe sex. He also admitted that Clinton and Lewinsky weren’t consulted about this dubious “honor.” There is no word about a royalty being paid to either one or whether their picture will be on each condom.
Senator Hillary Clinton, who is being bandied about as a possible Democratic candidate for President in ’08, only comment when she heard the news was, “Damn fucking chinks…hope they eat poisoned egg rolls and die.” Bill Clinton was said to be disappointed that a cigar wasn’t named after Monica and him.
posted by THE RANTING OLD GEEZER at 7:09 PM
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