LET'S HEAR IT FOR CROATIA.
Croatia is a country with a violent and troubled past. Actually it’s barely a country…it’s more like a coun……..since it didn’t become a country until 1998. It was part of the Austro-Hungarian Empire until shortly after the First World War. In fact, the assassination of Duke Ferdinand, (who stole his name from Duke Wayne)…caused that war. The Austro-Hungarian Empire was famous for two things: the Waltz and heart burn. Have you ever eaten a Hungarian meal? ‘Nough said.
After World War 1 the various peoples making up that part of the world fought with each other until being united as Yugoslavia in 1929. After the break-up of Yugoslavia fighting commenced again for 4 years until the U.N. partitioned the land into Bosnia, Croatia…and Oz. The citizens of that region have had more fights than any ten couples appearing on Divorce Court. It seems their favorite pastime is ethnically cleansing others in the region. However, that cleansing doesn’t carry over to their personal hygiene. Many depressed men and women have committed suicide by breathing next to a Croatian.
Croatia is a very poor country. The average household income is 26 cents per year. They don’t have a nationwide telephone system – citizens communicate by tin cans and string. The nation doesn’t have a national soccer team but it does have a national “raping and pillaging” team. The national bird is the buzzard and the national flower is the weed. We’re talking poor here.
However, they do have a national television network controlled by the government. Most of the programming is old black and white TV series from America. Gilligan’s Goulash is the top rated show followed by Have Poison Will Travel.
Along with the rest of the world, Croatians love reality shows. They have just launched a new reality show on the internet, starring…are you ready?....SHEEP instead of people. The program’s aim is to show that people who participate in reality TV “are made to look like sheep.” It’s the producer’s way of trying to be ironic and comical. Comedy is as rare in Croatia as soap is. The winner of the 10-day Stado (herd) show will receive poetry in its honor instead of money. Many American agents are trying to sign the winning sheep to an exclusive contract.
There’s talk of a hold-out and bonus negotiation.
Those sheep voted out of the seven-member herd each time might be eaten or sent on a suicide bombing mission to Bosnia. Hardly an incentive to appear on the program. The show can be followed 24 hours a day on Web site www.stado.org, where viewers can see how the sheep feed and interact with each other. The viewers can choose which sheep to vote out. Croatians love to condemn people or animals to death. To them it’s more fun than your average pogrom. The poor sheep crying hysterically and trying to climb over its neighbor is likely one of the losers.
“I am not an insensitive bastard who abuses animals. We called a vet for those sheep that were in poorer shape,” producer Sinisa Labrovic insists.
According to reliable sources the winning sheep will become the mistress of the President of Croatia.
After World War 1 the various peoples making up that part of the world fought with each other until being united as Yugoslavia in 1929. After the break-up of Yugoslavia fighting commenced again for 4 years until the U.N. partitioned the land into Bosnia, Croatia…and Oz. The citizens of that region have had more fights than any ten couples appearing on Divorce Court. It seems their favorite pastime is ethnically cleansing others in the region. However, that cleansing doesn’t carry over to their personal hygiene. Many depressed men and women have committed suicide by breathing next to a Croatian.
Croatia is a very poor country. The average household income is 26 cents per year. They don’t have a nationwide telephone system – citizens communicate by tin cans and string. The nation doesn’t have a national soccer team but it does have a national “raping and pillaging” team. The national bird is the buzzard and the national flower is the weed. We’re talking poor here.
However, they do have a national television network controlled by the government. Most of the programming is old black and white TV series from America. Gilligan’s Goulash is the top rated show followed by Have Poison Will Travel.
Along with the rest of the world, Croatians love reality shows. They have just launched a new reality show on the internet, starring…are you ready?....SHEEP instead of people. The program’s aim is to show that people who participate in reality TV “are made to look like sheep.” It’s the producer’s way of trying to be ironic and comical. Comedy is as rare in Croatia as soap is. The winner of the 10-day Stado (herd) show will receive poetry in its honor instead of money. Many American agents are trying to sign the winning sheep to an exclusive contract.
There’s talk of a hold-out and bonus negotiation.
Those sheep voted out of the seven-member herd each time might be eaten or sent on a suicide bombing mission to Bosnia. Hardly an incentive to appear on the program. The show can be followed 24 hours a day on Web site www.stado.org, where viewers can see how the sheep feed and interact with each other. The viewers can choose which sheep to vote out. Croatians love to condemn people or animals to death. To them it’s more fun than your average pogrom. The poor sheep crying hysterically and trying to climb over its neighbor is likely one of the losers.
“I am not an insensitive bastard who abuses animals. We called a vet for those sheep that were in poorer shape,” producer Sinisa Labrovic insists.
According to reliable sources the winning sheep will become the mistress of the President of Croatia.
posted by THE RANTING OLD GEEZER at 1:40 PM
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