LEAVE MAGGIE ALONE......
We have discussed this subject before. I’ve really had it up to here with this obsession about health and weight loss. It’s sick. Didn’t these health gurus ever go to a museum and admire the great painter Ruben’s work? He was famous for his rotund women? They were considered the beauties of that time. There wasn’t a Richard Simmons type leaping around and bugging them to lose weight. I guess the old adage, “beauty is only skin deep” had more meaning in those days even if it took a harpoon to get through their skin.
The latest outrage in this battle against weight is taking place in Anchorage, Alaska of all places. I always thought that Alaska was the last refuge for free spirits and adventurers. Certainly Eskimos have always been portrayed as chubby people who like nothing better than a gourmet meal of blubber. I’m willing to bet the igloo that there isn’t a Weight Watcher’s on any glacier in Alaska. People are allowed to live their lives as they see fit. So, why is Tex Edwards spending a fortune trying to get Maggie to use a treadmill in order to take off a few extra pounds? Maybe Maggie is happy like she is. Maggie happens to be a 4-ton elephant that lives at the Alaska Zoo.
Zoo director Edwards is optimistic that the 16,000 pound treadmill specifically built to exercise Maggie will help her in fighting the battle of the bulge whether she likes it or not. Just how does one teach a pachyderm to become a card-carrying member of Gold’s gym hasn’t been figured out yet. The 20-foot-long by 8-foot-wide treadmill was built by Conveyor Engineering, an Idaho-based company that designs heavy-duty conveyor systems. It is believed that the treadmill is the first one built specifically for an elephant. “They have built them for race horses but never for an elephant,” said assistant zoo director Pat Lampi. Heck, you and I thought that race horses knew how to run without the help of some dumb treadmill. Live and learn.
The treadmill sits in a well in the elephant house so that it will be flush with the floor. It also is equipped with gates on either end so Maggie can get on and off the treadmill. Bet they forgot towels for Maggie to dry her forehead after a work-out or bottled water for her to sip. A TV set tuned to Wolf Blitzer, for her to watch, probably is too much to ask. Why is the zoo going through all this expense and effort? At her last weigh-in (Don King was present waving his little American flag), Maggie tipped the scales at 9,120 pounds, about 1,000 pounds overweight according to the fashion editor of Glamour magazine.
Maggie’s weight became an issue when she couldn’t get into any of her clothes anymore. Just kiddin’, ya. Her general welfare was raised when the zoo’s only other elephant died of a chronic foot infection a few years ago. What an ingrown toe nail has to do with Maggie’s waist-line hasn’t been answered yet. One of the challenges with captive elephants is to get them enough exercise. Has anyone tried to get Maggie interested in volley ball or bike riding?
African elephants spend their time foraging for food, traveling many miles for a snack. Maggie, on the other hoof, has food plunked down in front of her each day. In an effort to stimulate the experience of foraging, the zoo has Maggie strain and reach for her food, now hung from structures as part of her lifestyle enrichment program. Wow! Talk about cruelty. Her diet also has changed to help her shed some pounds. Watch those carbs, Maggie-baby.
Maggie’s handlers hope to use positive reinforcement techniques to start her using the new treadmill. “The first time she’s on it…it will be barely moving,” one of them said. Maybe later, the treadmill’s incline feature can be utilized and it can be sped up her a brisk, healthful walk. Zoo director Edwards predicts Maggie will become a svelte, shining example of the benefits of regular exercise for overweight pachyderms worldwide. First, the treadmill then what, jumping jacks?
I’ve got news for all these seemingly helpful folks…you want Maggie to forage for food, how about taking her back to Africa where she was born and let her act like a normal, healthy elephant with her brothers and sisters. You made her the couch potato she’s become. Trust me, none of the other elephants will say, “hey, girl, you’ve put on a few pounds haven’t you?”
The latest outrage in this battle against weight is taking place in Anchorage, Alaska of all places. I always thought that Alaska was the last refuge for free spirits and adventurers. Certainly Eskimos have always been portrayed as chubby people who like nothing better than a gourmet meal of blubber. I’m willing to bet the igloo that there isn’t a Weight Watcher’s on any glacier in Alaska. People are allowed to live their lives as they see fit. So, why is Tex Edwards spending a fortune trying to get Maggie to use a treadmill in order to take off a few extra pounds? Maybe Maggie is happy like she is. Maggie happens to be a 4-ton elephant that lives at the Alaska Zoo.
Zoo director Edwards is optimistic that the 16,000 pound treadmill specifically built to exercise Maggie will help her in fighting the battle of the bulge whether she likes it or not. Just how does one teach a pachyderm to become a card-carrying member of Gold’s gym hasn’t been figured out yet. The 20-foot-long by 8-foot-wide treadmill was built by Conveyor Engineering, an Idaho-based company that designs heavy-duty conveyor systems. It is believed that the treadmill is the first one built specifically for an elephant. “They have built them for race horses but never for an elephant,” said assistant zoo director Pat Lampi. Heck, you and I thought that race horses knew how to run without the help of some dumb treadmill. Live and learn.
The treadmill sits in a well in the elephant house so that it will be flush with the floor. It also is equipped with gates on either end so Maggie can get on and off the treadmill. Bet they forgot towels for Maggie to dry her forehead after a work-out or bottled water for her to sip. A TV set tuned to Wolf Blitzer, for her to watch, probably is too much to ask. Why is the zoo going through all this expense and effort? At her last weigh-in (Don King was present waving his little American flag), Maggie tipped the scales at 9,120 pounds, about 1,000 pounds overweight according to the fashion editor of Glamour magazine.
Maggie’s weight became an issue when she couldn’t get into any of her clothes anymore. Just kiddin’, ya. Her general welfare was raised when the zoo’s only other elephant died of a chronic foot infection a few years ago. What an ingrown toe nail has to do with Maggie’s waist-line hasn’t been answered yet. One of the challenges with captive elephants is to get them enough exercise. Has anyone tried to get Maggie interested in volley ball or bike riding?
African elephants spend their time foraging for food, traveling many miles for a snack. Maggie, on the other hoof, has food plunked down in front of her each day. In an effort to stimulate the experience of foraging, the zoo has Maggie strain and reach for her food, now hung from structures as part of her lifestyle enrichment program. Wow! Talk about cruelty. Her diet also has changed to help her shed some pounds. Watch those carbs, Maggie-baby.
Maggie’s handlers hope to use positive reinforcement techniques to start her using the new treadmill. “The first time she’s on it…it will be barely moving,” one of them said. Maybe later, the treadmill’s incline feature can be utilized and it can be sped up her a brisk, healthful walk. Zoo director Edwards predicts Maggie will become a svelte, shining example of the benefits of regular exercise for overweight pachyderms worldwide. First, the treadmill then what, jumping jacks?
I’ve got news for all these seemingly helpful folks…you want Maggie to forage for food, how about taking her back to Africa where she was born and let her act like a normal, healthy elephant with her brothers and sisters. You made her the couch potato she’s become. Trust me, none of the other elephants will say, “hey, girl, you’ve put on a few pounds haven’t you?”
posted by THE RANTING OLD GEEZER at 3:43 PM
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