YOUR MONEY OR YOUR UNDERWEAR....
Criminals are interesting and fascinating characters for many people. Think Dillinger, Bonnie & Clyde, Willie Sutton and Ken Lay. The normal law-abiding citizen must get a vicarious thrill when they read about law breakers. Would we have the guts or mind-set to pull off a major heist or do something else illegal? Probably not…we’d be too scared, afraid of violence and who would want to wear those ugly, baggy orange prison jump suits to court?
Of course many average men and women break the law regularly or at least attempt to. How many times have you parked in a 30-minute spot for longer? Most people, if they were honest, try to fudge on their income tax. How about finding some money in a parking lot and not turning it over to the cops? Driving over the speed limit is a no-brainer. So, the difference between us and a professional criminal is what laws we choose to obey and which we try to take advantage of.
There are different types of criminals: white collar, blue collar, no collar and violent predators who none of us could imagine becoming in our wildest dreams. Some of us think white collar crime isn’t very important compared to a serial killer or rapist. Try telling that to the poor people who were ‘raped’ of their life savings by Enron executives. Buying a possible ‘hot’ television from some guy out of the back of his car is against the law but do any of us break into a sweat at the thought of it? I confess to being greedy enough to think I was buying a hot Rolex watch from some character who swore it was a fantastic bargain at $75. I should have known it was too good to be true. The guy’s name was Frenchy and he wore spats. When I got home I realized it wasn’t a Rolex but a genuine Roldex with painted on hands. There are no bargains unless you shop at 99-cent stores.
As everybody in law enforcement will tell us – all criminals are stupid. That’s why most of them wind up in jail. Unless you were retarded why would you want to spend years behind bars, eating crappy food, being ordered about all the time and rooming with a hoodlum who wants you to be his fiancée?
Since we can agree that crooks are dumb - meet Nickos George Kopsaftis of Cottonwood, Arizona. This genius was just booked into the county jail on two counts of burglary and two counts of attempted theft. Nickos tried to burglarize a home while naked and stopped in mid-escape to ask the victim for a pair of shorts. Why not a tuxedo as long as he was at it? The victim threw the shorts to the accused burglar, who then fled, said a spokesperson for Yavapai country sheriff’s Department.
Our latter day Robin Hood was later arrested next door, apparently while trying to steal a car. “He was wearing the borrowed shorts but nothing else.” A man house-sitting for his father found Kopsaftis standing naked in an upstairs room holding two rifles belonging to the homeowner. “He seemed very surprised when I interrupted him but not as surprised as I was. He wasn’t even circumcised.”
The victim got the rifles away from Nickos, who ran away, but not before stopping outside to ask for a pair of shorts. “He didn’t seem to be interested in their color. Anything would do.” When deputies arrived, they found a pair of wet socks and a pair of wet pants with Kopsaftis’s wallet and ID inside. A banging sound next door led deputies to a car which he was trying to hot-wire. With what, his jockey shorts?
When I hear a story like this – I don’t worry too much about brilliant criminals waiting to steal my Brooklyn Dodger baseball cards.
Of course many average men and women break the law regularly or at least attempt to. How many times have you parked in a 30-minute spot for longer? Most people, if they were honest, try to fudge on their income tax. How about finding some money in a parking lot and not turning it over to the cops? Driving over the speed limit is a no-brainer. So, the difference between us and a professional criminal is what laws we choose to obey and which we try to take advantage of.
There are different types of criminals: white collar, blue collar, no collar and violent predators who none of us could imagine becoming in our wildest dreams. Some of us think white collar crime isn’t very important compared to a serial killer or rapist. Try telling that to the poor people who were ‘raped’ of their life savings by Enron executives. Buying a possible ‘hot’ television from some guy out of the back of his car is against the law but do any of us break into a sweat at the thought of it? I confess to being greedy enough to think I was buying a hot Rolex watch from some character who swore it was a fantastic bargain at $75. I should have known it was too good to be true. The guy’s name was Frenchy and he wore spats. When I got home I realized it wasn’t a Rolex but a genuine Roldex with painted on hands. There are no bargains unless you shop at 99-cent stores.
As everybody in law enforcement will tell us – all criminals are stupid. That’s why most of them wind up in jail. Unless you were retarded why would you want to spend years behind bars, eating crappy food, being ordered about all the time and rooming with a hoodlum who wants you to be his fiancée?
Since we can agree that crooks are dumb - meet Nickos George Kopsaftis of Cottonwood, Arizona. This genius was just booked into the county jail on two counts of burglary and two counts of attempted theft. Nickos tried to burglarize a home while naked and stopped in mid-escape to ask the victim for a pair of shorts. Why not a tuxedo as long as he was at it? The victim threw the shorts to the accused burglar, who then fled, said a spokesperson for Yavapai country sheriff’s Department.
Our latter day Robin Hood was later arrested next door, apparently while trying to steal a car. “He was wearing the borrowed shorts but nothing else.” A man house-sitting for his father found Kopsaftis standing naked in an upstairs room holding two rifles belonging to the homeowner. “He seemed very surprised when I interrupted him but not as surprised as I was. He wasn’t even circumcised.”
The victim got the rifles away from Nickos, who ran away, but not before stopping outside to ask for a pair of shorts. “He didn’t seem to be interested in their color. Anything would do.” When deputies arrived, they found a pair of wet socks and a pair of wet pants with Kopsaftis’s wallet and ID inside. A banging sound next door led deputies to a car which he was trying to hot-wire. With what, his jockey shorts?
When I hear a story like this – I don’t worry too much about brilliant criminals waiting to steal my Brooklyn Dodger baseball cards.
posted by THE RANTING OLD GEEZER at 5:35 PM
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