IS HE FOOLING?

Do you get angry at the drop of an insult? Is your anger the kind that you’re powerless to check? When upset do you shake like a dog with a toy in its mouth? All of us have met those kinds of people. They turn red in the face, their teeth grind together, veins begin popping out of their foreheads and their fists clinch ready to begin slugging. In a word they are out of control.

There are as many reasons to get furious as there are people. Some men and women get violent at the drop of a hat especially if that hat lands in a puddle of dirty water. Others lose restraint at the simplest thing, like: buying a diamond from a gypsy and finding out it isn’t real. Getting a deal on a hot, gold Rolex watch only to find out the watch you bought is a Roldex and has only one hand. Whatever the cause angry, frustrated and A-personality types howl like jackals in heat when perceiving a slight.

The worst case of uncontrollable anger I’ve heard about happened in London recently. A British man being held for four murders got so pissed off that he tried to bite himself to death while being detained at a high-security psychiatric facility. Do you know how angry someone has to be to try and bite themselves to death? Bonkers is a word that comes to mind. This looney-tune is standing trial on charges that he stabbed two men and two women to death, and tried to kill two other men over a three-day period. That’s really going for the gold.

Prosecutors told the jury that he wanted to kill at least 10 victims to achieve notoriety as a serial killer. Hell, he would have made the Guinness book. His lawyers claim he suffers from mental illness and heard voices that commanded him to kill, including that of Freddy Krueger, the fictional serial killer in the horror film franchise “A Nightmare on Elm Street.” He should be declared nuts by claiming to recognize Freddy’s voice. Do you know what Krueger sounded like?

This sicko first tried to bite himself while taking a bath in the Psychiatric hospital. Did anyone consider that maybe the hospital wouldn’t let him have his rubber duck? That would make any of us really angry. In a second incident he attempted to bite himself on the arm, targeting his arteries. I say posh to that. There could be a simple explanation: he could have been trying to bite his finger nails and slipped. Maybe the hospital wasn’t feeding him and he just got hungry.

He later tried to bite himself again. “I have never seen anyone bite himself with that ferocity,” said a member of the hospital staff. “It was a clear attempt to die.” Aha! This whole thing can be a ploy at attempting suicide. Instead of hanging himself with bed sheets or cutting his wrists this mutant brute figured that authorities would charge him with insanity and keep him in the hospital rather than throw him off the Tower of London.

Personally I think this whole thing is a charade. If the guy was really trying to bite himself to death he would have tried to bite himself on the neck. That does it every time.