WHAT I'D DO FOR LOVE.....

There are probably hundreds of good reasons that men and women get engaged or married but none come to mind. For those people who actually believe that marriage is an institution. The Geezer would like to point out that mental hospitals are also an institution.

Seriously, among the best reasons to have your nuptials held – and God knows I love to have mine held – are love, companionship and the fear of being lonely. Of course, until you’ve been married you don’t know what loneliness is. But, as the world changes and young people’s needs change…a new reason to prove love and romance has become a burgeoning industry around the world. Candy and flowers are passé. Going to a dance or romantic dinner has become boooooring to many young people. Even the old standby of exchanging team jackets or bowling balls doesn’t cut it anymore. Couples expect a lot more by way of commitment than they used to. As an Italian friend of mine used to say, “Yous don’t consider gettin’ serious with a woman of the female persuasion unless she can take a good punch.”

A new fad has cropped up in China, of all places, which men and women partake in to prove their feelings of love. It used to be that saying “I love you” on a holiday like Valentine’s Day required a box of candy, a bouquet of flowers or a bowl of fish heads – but now those romantic gestures are as old fashioned as Mao’s
“Little Red Book”. Even the pop-up version of the book doesn’t cut it anymore. The only true expression of love seems to be – matching noses.

China’s obsession with plastic surgery is finding fresh demand from couples who are going under the knife to get their noses and even their eyes done as a sign of their love for one another. “I suggested it as a way of celebrating our relationship and bringing us closer together with a special bond,” a young 24-year old was quoted as saying of the matching nose jobs for her and her boyfriend. She said her boyfriend “love the idea” and readily paid the 10,000 Yuan ($1,200) for the surgery. The low price didn’t include anesthesia which would have hiked the price up to 12 million Yuan. The young couple just bit down on a stale egg roll and weathered the storm. “We’re very happy with the results,” she added although admits that her boyfriend only has one nostril.

Business at Shanghai’s plastic surgery clinics has risen by up to 30% since the beginning of the month, fueled by Valentine’s Day and the recently concluded lunar New Year, when young people typically receive job bonuses, cash gifts from older relatives and money gotten in hold-ups of tourists. Some clinics advertise special discounts of up to 20 percent if the potential patients bring their own knives and saws. One even goes so far as offering free roses if you agree to an entire face lift, tummy tuck and circumcision. Rabbi Yitzak Chen not only performs the circumcision but sings a medley from Fiddler on the Roof.

Unknown in china just a few years ago, plastic surgery is now a 2 billion business and newly prosperous Chinese seek shapelier noses, fuller breasts and prettier elbows and little toes. Shanghai, China’s wealthiest and most image-conscious city is the center for the business which is celebrated in plastic surgery inspired beauty contests and television shows. The number one rated TV show is called, “Dancing with your Plastic Surgeon.”