WATCH YO MOUTH!
AS YOU LOYAL READERS KNOW, YOUR BRILLIANT YET HUMBLE CORRESPONDENT IS A WORDSMITH. THE DERIVATION AND USE OF WORDS AND PHRASES MAKES ME TWITCH LIKE SOMEONE CLUTCHING THE THIRD RAIL.
DICTIONARIES, ENCYCLOPEDIAS, AND ALMANACS ARE TURN-ONS. EUPHEMISMS AND THE ORIGINS OF EXPRESSIONS AND FIRST-KNOWN USES ARE MORE ENJOYABLE THAN WATCHING BILL O’REILLY GET HIS CRINOLINE OUT OF SHAPE.
APOSTROPHES, SEMICOLONS, AND DANGLING PARTICIPLES BRING A TEAR TO MY EYE. I, OF COURSE, AM WELL KNOWN FOR MY DANGLING PARTICIPLE – MORE ABOUT THAT ANOTHER TIME.
JUST THE OTHER DAY I HEARD SOMEONE UTTER THE OATH…”JESUS H. CHRIST.” MY BRAIN BEGAN HEATING UP – WHERE DID THAT PHRASE COME FROM? ANY OF YOU WHO WATCH OLD VICTURE MATURE BIBLE FILMS KNOW THAT MEN AND WOMEN WEREN’T REFFERED TO BY ANY LAST NAME – THEY USUALLY WERE KNOWN FOR THEIR HOME TOWN. SAUL OF GAUL; OR EVEN BY THEIR PROFESSIONS: SHEILA THE MAKER OF GRUEL. SO, TO BE CORRECT THIS FELLOW SHOULD OF SHOUTED, “JESUS OF NAZARETH!”...WHILE BEATING THE SHIT OUT OF HIS NEIGHBOR’S KID. CHRIST WAS A NAME GIVEN TO JESUS BY HIS RELIGIOUS FOLLOWERS – EITHER THAT OR IN THE SCHOOL YARD – I FORGET WHICH. THE POINT IS CHRIST WAS NOT HIS GIVEN OR FAMILY NAME.
THAT GOT ME THINKING: JESUS H. CHRIST. WHERE DID THE “H” COME FROM? HIS FATHER AND MOTHER’S NAMES WERE JOSEPH AND MARY OF NAZARETH. WHAT’S WITH THIS DANGLING – H? WHO ADDED IT TO LITTLE JESUS’ MONICKER?
I IMMEDIATELY TOOK OUT ALL MY BOOKS ON SANSKRIT AND MY AUTOGRAPHED COPY OF THE DEAD SEA SCROLLS. IT TOOK ME MONTHS – BUT GUESS WHAT? THE GEEZER ACTUALLY FOUND THE DERIVATION OF THE “H” IN THAT POPULAR PHRASE. IT SEEMS MARY AND JOSEPH WAS IN A DITHER ABOUT THEIR SON, JESUS. HE REFUSED TO HELP IN THE FAMILY BUSINESS…ALL HE WANTED TO DO WAS WALK AROUND IN A SACK CLOTH, SMELLY SANDALS AND BOAST THAT HE WAS THE SON OF GOD. “YEAH, RIGHT,” SAID OTHERS, “AND WE’RE PRESIDENT OF THE FRANKIE AVALON FAN CLUB.” HIS MOM AND DAD ALSO CRIED BECAUSE HE LIKED TO HANG FROM WOODEN CROSSES WHICH THEY FELT WOULD BRING HIM NO LUCK.
THE “H” MY DEAR READERS IS THE FIRST INITIAL FOR JESUS’ MIDDLE NAME, HERBIE. YES, THE LEADER OF THE CHRISTIAN WORLD’S MIDDLE NAME IS HERBIE. HOW ABOUT THAT? THAT’S WHAT A LITTLE EDUCATION AND A BRICK UPSIDE THE HEAD CAN BRING YOU IF YOU ARE AT ALL CURIOUS. ONCE AGAIN THE OLD GEEZER PROVES THAT HIS BLOG IS THE NUTS.
DICTIONARIES, ENCYCLOPEDIAS, AND ALMANACS ARE TURN-ONS. EUPHEMISMS AND THE ORIGINS OF EXPRESSIONS AND FIRST-KNOWN USES ARE MORE ENJOYABLE THAN WATCHING BILL O’REILLY GET HIS CRINOLINE OUT OF SHAPE.
APOSTROPHES, SEMICOLONS, AND DANGLING PARTICIPLES BRING A TEAR TO MY EYE. I, OF COURSE, AM WELL KNOWN FOR MY DANGLING PARTICIPLE – MORE ABOUT THAT ANOTHER TIME.
JUST THE OTHER DAY I HEARD SOMEONE UTTER THE OATH…”JESUS H. CHRIST.” MY BRAIN BEGAN HEATING UP – WHERE DID THAT PHRASE COME FROM? ANY OF YOU WHO WATCH OLD VICTURE MATURE BIBLE FILMS KNOW THAT MEN AND WOMEN WEREN’T REFFERED TO BY ANY LAST NAME – THEY USUALLY WERE KNOWN FOR THEIR HOME TOWN. SAUL OF GAUL; OR EVEN BY THEIR PROFESSIONS: SHEILA THE MAKER OF GRUEL. SO, TO BE CORRECT THIS FELLOW SHOULD OF SHOUTED, “JESUS OF NAZARETH!”...WHILE BEATING THE SHIT OUT OF HIS NEIGHBOR’S KID. CHRIST WAS A NAME GIVEN TO JESUS BY HIS RELIGIOUS FOLLOWERS – EITHER THAT OR IN THE SCHOOL YARD – I FORGET WHICH. THE POINT IS CHRIST WAS NOT HIS GIVEN OR FAMILY NAME.
THAT GOT ME THINKING: JESUS H. CHRIST. WHERE DID THE “H” COME FROM? HIS FATHER AND MOTHER’S NAMES WERE JOSEPH AND MARY OF NAZARETH. WHAT’S WITH THIS DANGLING – H? WHO ADDED IT TO LITTLE JESUS’ MONICKER?
I IMMEDIATELY TOOK OUT ALL MY BOOKS ON SANSKRIT AND MY AUTOGRAPHED COPY OF THE DEAD SEA SCROLLS. IT TOOK ME MONTHS – BUT GUESS WHAT? THE GEEZER ACTUALLY FOUND THE DERIVATION OF THE “H” IN THAT POPULAR PHRASE. IT SEEMS MARY AND JOSEPH WAS IN A DITHER ABOUT THEIR SON, JESUS. HE REFUSED TO HELP IN THE FAMILY BUSINESS…ALL HE WANTED TO DO WAS WALK AROUND IN A SACK CLOTH, SMELLY SANDALS AND BOAST THAT HE WAS THE SON OF GOD. “YEAH, RIGHT,” SAID OTHERS, “AND WE’RE PRESIDENT OF THE FRANKIE AVALON FAN CLUB.” HIS MOM AND DAD ALSO CRIED BECAUSE HE LIKED TO HANG FROM WOODEN CROSSES WHICH THEY FELT WOULD BRING HIM NO LUCK.
THE “H” MY DEAR READERS IS THE FIRST INITIAL FOR JESUS’ MIDDLE NAME, HERBIE. YES, THE LEADER OF THE CHRISTIAN WORLD’S MIDDLE NAME IS HERBIE. HOW ABOUT THAT? THAT’S WHAT A LITTLE EDUCATION AND A BRICK UPSIDE THE HEAD CAN BRING YOU IF YOU ARE AT ALL CURIOUS. ONCE AGAIN THE OLD GEEZER PROVES THAT HIS BLOG IS THE NUTS.
posted by THE RANTING OLD GEEZER at 12:30 PM
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