PRAY FOR ME I'M A FATSO.....
Are you religious? I don’t mean someone who prays occasionally or attends religious ceremonies every once in awhile. I mean a died-in-the-wool religious fanatic. A person that believes the “the word” is the only truth. Someone who wouldn’t think of making a decision without consulting their pastor, minister, priest or rabbi. “Should we eat Chinese food tonight? Better check the bible…or Rabbi Shecky.” If you are that kind of religious believer you are likely to also be a fatso!
A new study – thank goodness for studies – proves that church-goers are more likely to be overweight than their more sectarian brethren. Don’t believe it? Look around. Have you ever seen film or tape of people entering or leaving houses of worship? Looks like a convention of The Tons-Of-Fun? Hang around a church and watch the people waddle in and out. No doubt about it – being religious is a short-cut to becoming obese. A Weight-Watcher reject. A Jenny Craig drop-out.
Why would religious people tend to be so overweight? Do they secretly put some ketchup on and eat pages from their bibles when no one is looking? Do Catholic fatsos keeping going back for seconds, thirds and fourths of wafers? Is the wardrobe their religious leaders wear a cause? It’s usually loose fitting – muumuu kind of garb – which can hide a fat stomach easily. Does anything in the bible encourage gluttony? “Do not covert your neighbor’s wife” - but, go ahead and gobble up her apple pie.” “Thou shalt have no other gods before me” – except for Ben & Jerry’s ice cream. “Thou shalt not take the name of the Lord thy God in vain” – unless the dumb waiter brings you a fatty corned beef sandwich.
If there was ever a reason not to believe in organized religion it’s the connection between praying and poundage. Want to lose a quick 10-pounds? Forget the Atkins Diet or Low Carbs….just hide your bible and walk past your church with your eyes closed.
What are we to conclude with this new study of obesity? Want to be thin? Become an atheist? Tis a puzzlement. One thing for sure, most houses of worship better reinforce their pews before religious fatsos come a crashing down.
A new study – thank goodness for studies – proves that church-goers are more likely to be overweight than their more sectarian brethren. Don’t believe it? Look around. Have you ever seen film or tape of people entering or leaving houses of worship? Looks like a convention of The Tons-Of-Fun? Hang around a church and watch the people waddle in and out. No doubt about it – being religious is a short-cut to becoming obese. A Weight-Watcher reject. A Jenny Craig drop-out.
Why would religious people tend to be so overweight? Do they secretly put some ketchup on and eat pages from their bibles when no one is looking? Do Catholic fatsos keeping going back for seconds, thirds and fourths of wafers? Is the wardrobe their religious leaders wear a cause? It’s usually loose fitting – muumuu kind of garb – which can hide a fat stomach easily. Does anything in the bible encourage gluttony? “Do not covert your neighbor’s wife” - but, go ahead and gobble up her apple pie.” “Thou shalt have no other gods before me” – except for Ben & Jerry’s ice cream. “Thou shalt not take the name of the Lord thy God in vain” – unless the dumb waiter brings you a fatty corned beef sandwich.
If there was ever a reason not to believe in organized religion it’s the connection between praying and poundage. Want to lose a quick 10-pounds? Forget the Atkins Diet or Low Carbs….just hide your bible and walk past your church with your eyes closed.
What are we to conclude with this new study of obesity? Want to be thin? Become an atheist? Tis a puzzlement. One thing for sure, most houses of worship better reinforce their pews before religious fatsos come a crashing down.
posted by THE RANTING OLD GEEZER at 12:59 PM
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