THE HELL WITH IT.....
Any adult man or women should strive to always improve their knowledge about things. The only exception to this rule would be politicians…the more they learn and the greater their knowledge the less chance they have of being elected.
Have you ever thought about going back to school? Taking classes at a local college? Expanding your mind and interests rather than remaining set in your ways? It would probably be a good thing for all of us to contemplate. I still have my college sweater, beanie and megaphone. Of course, I’ve gained a few pounds since then so can only use my college sweater as a hanky.
If I do go back to University, it’ll probably be in Rome. Vatican U. has announced a new course that really sounds like a blast. The new course is for aspiring demonologists and exorcists.
“There is no doubt that the devil is intervening more in the life of man these days,” Father Paolo Scarafoni told the students, most of them priests who want to learn how to tackle the demon if they ever encounter him. Ordinary citizens are also welcome to take the class. I mean, we have as good a chance of meeting the devil as any old priest. We’re not cloistered in some church or monastery – we’re out there among the rabble at Ralph’s and Krispy Kreame.
“Not all of you will become exorcists but it is indispensable that every priest knows how to discern between demonic possession and psychological problems,” he said. I wish I had known that before I got married. The four-month course, called “Exorcism and the Prayer of Liberation,” is being offered by Pontifical Apostolorum University on Rome’s outskirts. You may not have heard of the University because they don’t play USC or Texas. There are no cheerleaders, which is a drag, although some priests do like to dress up in mini-skirts and angora sweaters.
The about 120 students from around the world hear lectures on topics such as spiritual, theological, liturgical, medical, legal and criminological aspects of Satanism and demonic possession. The students are only fed pea soup. You even have to buy a book to study with, “Ritual for Exorcism and Prayers for Particular Circumstances.” It only comes in hard-cover and there are no pictures.
One priest from Boston, who asked not to be identified, said he decided to take the course after he had an unsettling experience while hearing the confession of one young member of his parish. “Her voice changed, her face transformed and she started speaking in a language that she did not know,” he said. When it was pointed out that the young woman might have been pissed off from losing at bingo, he had no comment.
Interest in the devil and the occult was boosted by the 1973 film “The Exorcist” and later flicks like, “The Exorcism of Emily Rose”and “The Devil Made Me Give Bad Head,” starring Paris Hilton. Some religious leaders also believe watching reality television shows are a sure way to Hell. The students will not only study these films but meet and be taught by several real-life and well-known exorcists. A featured speaker is Linda Blair.
There are a few sure ways that point to demonic possession:
When someone speaks in tongues and cannot be understood (Arnold Schwarzenegger); when their physical strength is disproportionate to their body size or age (Tanya Harding), they might be possessed by the devil.
There may be as many as 5,000 people who are thought to be members of Satan cults with 17-to-25-year-olds making up three quarters of them. Any audience at an Eninem concert proves that.
The Vatican updated its ritual for exorcism in 1999. It starts with prayers and sprinkling of holy water, the laying on of hands and making the sign of the cross. The formula begins: “I order you, Satan…” It goes on to denounce Satan as “prince of the underworld” and “enemy of human salvation.” It ends: “Go back, Satan.” If that doesn’t work a blackjack upside the head always does.
The only thing that would hold me back from sending in my tuition for this course would be if the outtakes of Paris Hilton’s video becomes available.
Have you ever thought about going back to school? Taking classes at a local college? Expanding your mind and interests rather than remaining set in your ways? It would probably be a good thing for all of us to contemplate. I still have my college sweater, beanie and megaphone. Of course, I’ve gained a few pounds since then so can only use my college sweater as a hanky.
If I do go back to University, it’ll probably be in Rome. Vatican U. has announced a new course that really sounds like a blast. The new course is for aspiring demonologists and exorcists.
“There is no doubt that the devil is intervening more in the life of man these days,” Father Paolo Scarafoni told the students, most of them priests who want to learn how to tackle the demon if they ever encounter him. Ordinary citizens are also welcome to take the class. I mean, we have as good a chance of meeting the devil as any old priest. We’re not cloistered in some church or monastery – we’re out there among the rabble at Ralph’s and Krispy Kreame.
“Not all of you will become exorcists but it is indispensable that every priest knows how to discern between demonic possession and psychological problems,” he said. I wish I had known that before I got married. The four-month course, called “Exorcism and the Prayer of Liberation,” is being offered by Pontifical Apostolorum University on Rome’s outskirts. You may not have heard of the University because they don’t play USC or Texas. There are no cheerleaders, which is a drag, although some priests do like to dress up in mini-skirts and angora sweaters.
The about 120 students from around the world hear lectures on topics such as spiritual, theological, liturgical, medical, legal and criminological aspects of Satanism and demonic possession. The students are only fed pea soup. You even have to buy a book to study with, “Ritual for Exorcism and Prayers for Particular Circumstances.” It only comes in hard-cover and there are no pictures.
One priest from Boston, who asked not to be identified, said he decided to take the course after he had an unsettling experience while hearing the confession of one young member of his parish. “Her voice changed, her face transformed and she started speaking in a language that she did not know,” he said. When it was pointed out that the young woman might have been pissed off from losing at bingo, he had no comment.
Interest in the devil and the occult was boosted by the 1973 film “The Exorcist” and later flicks like, “The Exorcism of Emily Rose”and “The Devil Made Me Give Bad Head,” starring Paris Hilton. Some religious leaders also believe watching reality television shows are a sure way to Hell. The students will not only study these films but meet and be taught by several real-life and well-known exorcists. A featured speaker is Linda Blair.
There are a few sure ways that point to demonic possession:
When someone speaks in tongues and cannot be understood (Arnold Schwarzenegger); when their physical strength is disproportionate to their body size or age (Tanya Harding), they might be possessed by the devil.
There may be as many as 5,000 people who are thought to be members of Satan cults with 17-to-25-year-olds making up three quarters of them. Any audience at an Eninem concert proves that.
The Vatican updated its ritual for exorcism in 1999. It starts with prayers and sprinkling of holy water, the laying on of hands and making the sign of the cross. The formula begins: “I order you, Satan…” It goes on to denounce Satan as “prince of the underworld” and “enemy of human salvation.” It ends: “Go back, Satan.” If that doesn’t work a blackjack upside the head always does.
The only thing that would hold me back from sending in my tuition for this course would be if the outtakes of Paris Hilton’s video becomes available.
posted by THE RANTING OLD GEEZER at 1:01 PM
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