LET THEM EAT LEFTOVERS.

Do you like leftovers? Food leftovers…not failed marriages. Why is it that some foods taste better the second or third day? Meat loaf is always better if you wait a day or two before swallowing it whole. (It should also always be served with mashed potatoes, sautéed onions and ketchup.) Stews are another food that’s better days after cooking. Why is that? You probably have your own list of dishes you can enjoy and enjoy for days.

While we’re on food: rice pudding should always contain raisins. If it doesn’t have raisins it’s as dull as kissing your own sister. Brussels Sprouts, on the other hand, never taste good…they smell even worse. If you put raisins on them it wouldn’t help. Same goes for lima beans. Do you know anyone that likes lima beans? They probably also like to watch Pauly Shore movies…..God help them. Rather than see one of those bombs I’d choose to be stuffed with lima beans and Brussels sprouts.

The reason for all the food talk is some old noodles have been found. Big deal, you say? You always eat cold spaghetti the next day. Before you grab that can of parmesan cheese – slow down. These noodles might not be so appetizing. They were found at an archaeological site in western China. The 4,000-year-old bowl of noodles – you heard right – 4,000-years old – might not even taste good after pouring some Chef Boyardee sauce on them. The noodles might also be possible proof for the argument that China invented pasta before Italy. I don’t care if Emeril Lagasse swears the Italians did – what does he know – he was born in New Jersey.

“These are definitely the earliest noodles ever found,” said a researcher with the Institute of Geology in Beijing who studied the ingredients of the preserved pasta. “Chinese people say Marco Polo (and you thought that was just an annoying game that kids shout in swimming pools) brought noodles from China back to Italy and Italians (after grabbing their crotches) claim they had noodles before that,” he added. “All this has been based on documentary material, on personal accounts and menus. But we’ve never been able to find any actual material until now.” That’s what the interpreter thinks he said but admits it also sounded like, “your shirts will be ready Friday after five o’clock.”

The fist size clump of noodles was found inside an overturned bowl under 10-feet of sediment. When researchers lifted up the bowl, they discovered the 20-inch noodles sitting atop an inverted cone of clay that had sealed the bowl, they said. The noodles were made from dough of two local varieties of millet rather than the more common wheat or rice. The dough was pulled into long strands before boiling. The region’s poorer farmers reportedly still eat millet noodles.

There are some skeptics about this archaeological find. They speculate that the 4,000-year-old noodles may have been planted at the site. Their reason is that an autographed picture of Jerry Vale was also reportedly found.

I’m not sure that I’d be brave enough to eat any of the ancient noodles…unless maybe they put some raisins on it.