HOW TO SELL FOR FUN & PROFIT.
Merchandizing and promotion is often the key to whether a product makes money for its manufacturer. There’s an old saying, “If they don’t know it’s there, they ain’t gonna break down your door to buy it.” The author of that ungrammatical statement is now head of the FEMA office in Antarctica. The point however is a good one. Many products that are lousy or grotesque make millions for smart entrepreneurs who promotes the hell out of it. Do lava lamps, mood rings and the Chia Pet ring a bell? Who in their right mind would buy some idiotic clay face that grows grass when watered? Does anyone really need a grassy face that looks like Elmer Fudd? The answer is obviously No…so how come the inventor of the Chia Pet now lives on his own Island in the Caribbean?
Before I go on, if any of you are interested in buying a Chia Pet I have 169 for sale. Okay, so I’m a sucker when it comes to Elmer Fudd. Not withstanding my inability to pass on some useless piece of junk that is offered on Cable TV late at night, the key to selling anything is its promotion. Oh, by the way, I also have 203 Jim Nabor’s Christmas albums for sale. You haven’t lived until you hear Gomer Pyle singing, “I Saw Momma Kissing Santa Claus.”
A store in Augusta, Maine has made headlines with its latest promotion. The owner, Felicia Stockford is obviously a brilliant merchandiser and deserves some recognition for her latest exciting sales idea. Other neighboring stores have been kvetching because of the crowd’s flocking to Spellbound’s front windows. Window shopping has been taken to a new level in Augusta. “It’s tainting the wholesome businesses down here,” complained the owner of Video Game Exchange. “I think it’s selfish and I think it’s morally reprehensible,” she went on. This from a person who sells adult videos like: “Lickity Splits, Beaver Patrol and One Hung Low.”
Other merchants like Spellbound’s newest promotion. “It’s like a New York thing. It’s urban. It’s edgy,” said Stacy Gervais, founder of a downtown merchants group. “We need a shtick – something we do that attracts people and gets us remembered.” A few complaints have been phoned in to the police department but they say there is nothing illegal about Spellbound’s promotion.
The entire hullabaloo is because Spellbound, a lingerie store is grabbing attention with live models in the window. Yes, young, attractive women are standing around and posing in the latest, chic lingerie. What better way to sell sexy, underwear than having chicks model it? Men from all over Augusta, Maine have suddenly become window shopping mavens. They stand there all day with open, dribbling mouths watching the girls strut their stuff. A few have even entered the store to buy. When they found out the girls weren’t for sale – just the lingerie – they left with their tails between their legs.
Owner Felicia Stockford said she had no trouble finding staffers. She said the young women enjoyed posing in the shop window. Actually sales at the store have jumped higher than a nudist backing into a cactus.
This fabulous idea might catch on with other store owners. Instead of using mannequins the local gun shop might have customers recreating Gunfight at the O.K. Corral. A karate studio could have students crashing through the front window and landing unconscious at your feet. This could start a trend.
Oh, if you happen to be in the market for some slightly soiled Nehru jackets give me a call.
Before I go on, if any of you are interested in buying a Chia Pet I have 169 for sale. Okay, so I’m a sucker when it comes to Elmer Fudd. Not withstanding my inability to pass on some useless piece of junk that is offered on Cable TV late at night, the key to selling anything is its promotion. Oh, by the way, I also have 203 Jim Nabor’s Christmas albums for sale. You haven’t lived until you hear Gomer Pyle singing, “I Saw Momma Kissing Santa Claus.”
A store in Augusta, Maine has made headlines with its latest promotion. The owner, Felicia Stockford is obviously a brilliant merchandiser and deserves some recognition for her latest exciting sales idea. Other neighboring stores have been kvetching because of the crowd’s flocking to Spellbound’s front windows. Window shopping has been taken to a new level in Augusta. “It’s tainting the wholesome businesses down here,” complained the owner of Video Game Exchange. “I think it’s selfish and I think it’s morally reprehensible,” she went on. This from a person who sells adult videos like: “Lickity Splits, Beaver Patrol and One Hung Low.”
Other merchants like Spellbound’s newest promotion. “It’s like a New York thing. It’s urban. It’s edgy,” said Stacy Gervais, founder of a downtown merchants group. “We need a shtick – something we do that attracts people and gets us remembered.” A few complaints have been phoned in to the police department but they say there is nothing illegal about Spellbound’s promotion.
The entire hullabaloo is because Spellbound, a lingerie store is grabbing attention with live models in the window. Yes, young, attractive women are standing around and posing in the latest, chic lingerie. What better way to sell sexy, underwear than having chicks model it? Men from all over Augusta, Maine have suddenly become window shopping mavens. They stand there all day with open, dribbling mouths watching the girls strut their stuff. A few have even entered the store to buy. When they found out the girls weren’t for sale – just the lingerie – they left with their tails between their legs.
Owner Felicia Stockford said she had no trouble finding staffers. She said the young women enjoyed posing in the shop window. Actually sales at the store have jumped higher than a nudist backing into a cactus.
This fabulous idea might catch on with other store owners. Instead of using mannequins the local gun shop might have customers recreating Gunfight at the O.K. Corral. A karate studio could have students crashing through the front window and landing unconscious at your feet. This could start a trend.
Oh, if you happen to be in the market for some slightly soiled Nehru jackets give me a call.
posted by THE RANTING OLD GEEZER at 10:11 AM
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