OH, GOD.

Most pundits and political scientists moan about the lack of participation by Americans in our elections. The truth is that not even 50% of eligible voters ever cast votes. The percentage is dropping faster than Enron’s stock did when Ken Lay appeared on America’s Most Wanted.

It’s clear that a majority of the electorate is turned off by the issues and the candidates running for office. This is sad but understandable when you consider the inefficiency of local, state and federal governments. Years ago, young people couldn’t wait to hit their 18th birthday so they could vote for the first time. The Old Geezer remembers how excited he was to cast his first vote for John Quincy Adams. Those days are gone – less boys and girls are voting than appear in the audience of the typical Soul Train show.

The political parties have tried everything and every gimmick in order to turn out the vote. One of the consequences to the lack of voter interest is that the quality of candidate gets worse and worse and the incidents of corruption gets higher and higher. They are so dumb that they probably go to Hooter’s for the food.

When you read about a voter is fighting tooth and nail to be allowed to vote in the next election in Reading, Pa. Turns out this fellow is a Republican but won’t be allowed to vote unless he appears at the Berk County Election Board to explain the signature on his registration form. The man is registered as Paul S. Sewell, but his form is signed “God.”

Having an ego is usually a good thing unless you play the nebbish in a Woody Allen movie. But, signing yourself as “God” might be considered a tad excessive. The County Solicitor said Sewell claims his “God” signature is merely a legal mark like the “X” used by people who are illiterate. I’m not sure God, whoever, she, or he is, would take kindly to be compared to an illiterate. A huckster selling fake hair color in TV maybe but the banjo playing kid in Deliverance…nah!

Sewell said he will be happy to explain. As the owner of a bail enforcement agency, he finds fugitives, he said. “Whenever I go to arrest somebody, they say, ‘Oh, God, give me another chance. Oh, God, let me go. I’ll turn myself in tomorrow, ‘he explained. If he wins his argument it would mean that if someone calls you a “sunuvabitch” you have every right to use that name in Bingo games or taffy pulls. How about “schmuck”? Can you just hear a maitre’d calling out, “Is schmuck party here?” Half the restaurant might answer “Yes.”

I wait with baited breath to see the outcome of this dispute. If he wins the right to vote as “God” I’m getting a vanity license-plate “Asshole.”