GET A DAY JOB.

Did you ever know someone who was totally wrong for the job he or she was doing? The flight attendant who’s afraid of heights; the surgeon who gets sick at the sight of blood; the vegetarian butcher; and the anti-Semitic rabbi are just a few examples.

You wonder why someone sticks with a job that they are totally unqualified for; George W. Bush for instance? That was a cheap joke but this is my Blog so I don’t care. Is it the dread that if they try to switch professions they won’t ever get a job? That they fear change and what it might bring? I pity those folks because they remain stuck in their trade unhappily going through the paces and not enjoying a moment of it. Rather than do something that made me so unhappy I would rather not do anything – which I’ve successfully done for forty years.

You’d think that if someone barely made a living, was denounced by clients as an incompetent idiot and boob, was the laughing stock of the profession – they’d take the hint and go into something else. Meet Michael Adam Skurdahl, 29, who better switch his line of work. He is a poster boy for incompetence, bungling, ignorance and stupidity. After watching an episode of America’s Most Wanted Criminals, Skurdahl decided he wanted to become a big-time crook. Wrong!

Could a man wearing a black wig, sunglasses and a fake mole on his cheek really be doing a corporate audit on a Wednesday night? A Rochester, Minnesota McDonald’s restaurant manager asked herself that question when a man carrying a briefcase entered through a back door. She asked him for paperwork or identification, but he kept stalling, saying he was from the corporate office. Guess, old Michael should have watched a few more episodes of America’s Most Wanted.

After about an hour and a half, the man told the manager he was robbing the place. He took her to the break room, pulled out a knife without exposing the blade. He also insisted of making her write down her name and address and give him deposit bags from the safe. The manager said he then walked out the door and ran away. Pretty slick, eh? He ran off – through a 2-foot deep river – but police caught up with Michael Adam Skurdahl. He is being charged with one count of aggravated first-degree robbery, once count of making terroristic threats and one count of felony theft. Pretty heavy stuff for a first try.

The manager became suspicious of him almost immediately. A mile he wore smeared when he rubbed it, and he said he wore sunglasses because he had his eyes dilated recently. Probably more information than she needed. He also had pink make-up on his right cheek and had placed tape on his left ear lobe, apparently to cover a piercing. Skurdahl obviously gets an “F” for make-up.

According to the amused cops they found several items on Michael or in the area where he fled: a knife, sunglasses, an open black briefcase with a McDonald’s labeled money bag, a “McFlurry” sheet with the manager’s name and address and a black Halloween wig with a pony tail. Police recovered nearly $7,000 of stolen loot in his pockets.

Skurdahl was probably absent the week any self-respectable robber would have been taught about planning a getaway. Like a car hidden in the woods or an accomplice looking nervously for police. The pony tail attached to the wig was a nice touch although they were different hair shades. The mole needed some work – next time he’d better watch a Madonna DVD to check out her un-smearable mole.

When Mr. Skurdahl get out of prison he’d better get a day job. The opening for an anti-Semitic Rabbi might still be open.