MERRY CHRISTMAS....HO, HO, HO.

With all the problems the good old U.S. of A. has…who will Jennifer Simpson marry next and is Brittney Spears really a female impersonator – what we don’t need is an angry debate, by people who have too much time on their hands, about whether wishing somebody a Merry Christmas should be punishable by death?

Various groups of civil libertarians have decided that the word Christmas should be banned and substituted with Holiday If they get their way no longer can a fat, jolly man, wearing a red suit, wish you a “Merry Christmas”…he now can only wish you a Merry Holiday. If Irving Berlin was alive they’d make him re-write his song to, “I’m Dreaming of a White ‘Thingamajig’.” Families would now have to stand out in the cold trying to choose an overpriced Holiday Tree.

These conspiracy freaks are so frightened that Big Brother is hiding behind every door and trying to pollute our country with unnecessary, unwanted and illegal religious ceremonies and tokens that they are bringing law suits faster than T.O. can run a post pattern. They insist that Christmas is a religious holiday and the separation of state and religion prohibits its public displays. Let’s forget for a moment that most people consider Christmas a loving, warm few days to spend with loved ones and friends…the opponents of Christmas don’t realize the havoc they would cause if their law suits are upheld. Do they really want mean spirited green elves packing the unemployment offices? What about out-of-work reindeer? No one would care if Rudolph’s nose was red anymore. It’d be a disaster.

Screw those frightened and uptight folks. As a defrocked Druid, the Geezer likes Christmas and all it means to people. It is not a religious celebration to millions of Americans – it’s a time to give and share with family, friends and those less fortunate. That’s almost as good as fried chicken on Sunday.

As an illustration of this generous Christmas spirit a group of German youth has put together a 2006 calendar for all of us to enjoy. It contains 12 photos depicting erotic scenes from the bible, including a bare-breasted Delilah cutting Samson’s hair and a nude Eve offering an apple. “There’s a whole range of biblical scriptures simply bursting with eroticism,” said the photographer who took the titillating pictures. A young 21-year old Nubian posed on a doorstep in garters and stockings as the prostitute Rahab, who is mentioned in both New and Old Testaments. The real Rahab listed her phone number to call if you wanted a good time in biblical days. “We wanted to represent the Bible in a different way to interest young people.” She said.

The pastor of the church in Nuremberg where the calendar is being sold was enthusiastic about the project. “It doesn’t say anywhere in the bible that you are forbidden to show yourself nude. It’s just wonderful when teenagers commit themselves with their hair and their skin to the bible.” The pastor is working on sermons he hopes to sell to The Playboy channel.

Let’s all wish the young, demented teens in Germany a Merry and Happy Christmas. Got to go…I’m going to their website: www.bibelkalendar. Com…and buy enough to fill everyone’s Christmas stockings.