THERE'S HOPE FOR US YET!
Most sports fans and reporters complain, and rightly so, that athletes today are cry-babies, spoiled rotten and totally selfish. None of these jocks seem to care about fans,’ the team’ or teammates – the only thing on their muscle bound minds is their press and what the sport can do for them. With that attitude they might as well be show business celebrities.
Most old time sports buffs will tell you about the days when athletes played for the fun of it. Having the opportunity to play was their reason for being. They were paid middle class wages and many of them had second jobs during their off season. Can you imagine some NBA super star working at a Chevron station pumping gas? Hell, he’s probably the majority stockholder in Chevron. As depressing as the state of sports is – every once in a while you read about an athlete who cares – really cares about their sport and will do anything to play.
Meet Mitchell Cozad of Greeley, Colorado. The most important thing in his young athlete’ life was playing football for his college team at Northern Colorado. He lives football. As a young tike his dad gave him a football helmet for his 8th-birthday and he was so excited and exhilarated that he never even got acne when he reached his teens – the helmet did. His twin brother, Randall, also received a helmet but not knowing what to do with it he put some lace on it and turned it into a planter. Randall has grown up to be a hair-dresser. Back to Mitchell.
Mitch tried out for the Northern, Colorado football team and, much to his delight made the team as the backup punter. Making the team was the biggest thing to happen to him since his first ‘woody.’ As hard as he tried, worked and practiced, Mitchell couldn’t make the first team. Some speculated that his punting average of 5-yards might have had something to do with it.
Young Master Cozad decided to take things in his own hands – he was determined to become the staring punter. He didn’t start taking steroids or growth hormones; he refused to do anything illegal on his quest. Well, almost anything illegal. What he did was he stabbed the starter in his kicking leg! Our clean cut, young jock is charged with attempted first degree murder and second degree assault and could be sentenced to 48-years in prison if convicted.
When asked why he would try to kill, maim and assault his rival, Mitchell confessed that starting on his college team was the dream of his life. Besides he pointed out that the knife wasn’t ‘that’ sharp. Police did find a framed picture of Tanya Harding in his locker.
So, don’t kvetch about athletes not caring any more. Although suspended from the team and the university Mitchell still follows the Northern, Colorado football team’s progress from his jail cell. This country needs more dedicated young athletes like Cozad and Islamic crazies wouldn’t dare attack us.
Most old time sports buffs will tell you about the days when athletes played for the fun of it. Having the opportunity to play was their reason for being. They were paid middle class wages and many of them had second jobs during their off season. Can you imagine some NBA super star working at a Chevron station pumping gas? Hell, he’s probably the majority stockholder in Chevron. As depressing as the state of sports is – every once in a while you read about an athlete who cares – really cares about their sport and will do anything to play.
Meet Mitchell Cozad of Greeley, Colorado. The most important thing in his young athlete’ life was playing football for his college team at Northern Colorado. He lives football. As a young tike his dad gave him a football helmet for his 8th-birthday and he was so excited and exhilarated that he never even got acne when he reached his teens – the helmet did. His twin brother, Randall, also received a helmet but not knowing what to do with it he put some lace on it and turned it into a planter. Randall has grown up to be a hair-dresser. Back to Mitchell.
Mitch tried out for the Northern, Colorado football team and, much to his delight made the team as the backup punter. Making the team was the biggest thing to happen to him since his first ‘woody.’ As hard as he tried, worked and practiced, Mitchell couldn’t make the first team. Some speculated that his punting average of 5-yards might have had something to do with it.
Young Master Cozad decided to take things in his own hands – he was determined to become the staring punter. He didn’t start taking steroids or growth hormones; he refused to do anything illegal on his quest. Well, almost anything illegal. What he did was he stabbed the starter in his kicking leg! Our clean cut, young jock is charged with attempted first degree murder and second degree assault and could be sentenced to 48-years in prison if convicted.
When asked why he would try to kill, maim and assault his rival, Mitchell confessed that starting on his college team was the dream of his life. Besides he pointed out that the knife wasn’t ‘that’ sharp. Police did find a framed picture of Tanya Harding in his locker.
So, don’t kvetch about athletes not caring any more. Although suspended from the team and the university Mitchell still follows the Northern, Colorado football team’s progress from his jail cell. This country needs more dedicated young athletes like Cozad and Islamic crazies wouldn’t dare attack us.
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