THANKS FOR THE MAMMARIES

Sexual harassment in the workplace is an ugly fact of life. It must be discouraged and those guilty of it should be punished. Both sexes are guilty of it. There have been many recorded cases of female employers trying to take sexual advantage of male employees. There is no excuse for that kind of abuse. The old Geezer feels so strongly about women trying to have their way with males working for them that he has applied for jobs in those businesses. He may be old but he is definitely randy.

Most of the known cases of sexual harassment deal with women being subjected to degrading and sometimes physical abuse by males over them. Male’s over them seems to be the preferred position….they obviously never heard of the Missionary position. Is there anything lower and more disgusting than taking advantage of some poor helpless underling? What right does any employer or fellow employee have to be sexually abusive to another worker? None. When a needed job is in jeopardy unless a woman agrees to unwanted sexual acts there should be swift and harsh penalties for the perpetrator. Workplace bullies are an embarrassment to all of us. And, I promise not to do it anymore.

One of the most unusual cases of harassment came to light recently. San Francisco is known as a pretty liberal city when it comes to sexual expression. Perversion is not a stranger in many Frisco neighborhoods. Just the other day a weirdo was caught tongue kissing a fire hydrant. A butch, tattooed woman was arrested for having rough sex with a barcalounger.

Two women have just settled their lawsuit in Woodside, California which is a suburb of “I Left My Heart In…” They claim that they were fired by their employers for refusing to show their breasts. Surprisingly they weren’t ask to bare their tatas to some sex crazed male boss – it was more diabolical than that – they were asked and refused to show their mammary glands to a gorilla. They took the Gorilla Foundation to court after being canned for refusing to expose their breasts to the 35-year-old, 300-pound female gorilla named Koko, who can understand some sign language. Court records do not state whether Koko signed, “Show me your tits.”

According to the lawsuit, they were told they should expose their breasts as a way to bond with Koko. Hell, I asked my ex the same thing and she just slugged me with a baseball bat…guess she wasn’t into bonding, either. It seems that Koko has a “nipple fetish” and what better way to show friendship than letting Koko fondle your nipples? I mean, a mere acquaintance wouldn’t let you fondle their nipples but a friend……come on, what are friends for?

To cut to the chase the two women refused and were fired by the Gorilla Foundation. The foundation has denied the allegations but settled the lawsuit anyway. Terms of the settlement were not made public but it is rumored that the two women are going to spend the money on breast enhancements.