PULL YOUR GODDAMN PANTS UP!
LET’S HEAR IT FOR LYNWOOD, ILL. I CAN’T HEAR YOU.
THAT’S BETTER. LYNWOOD IS A SUBURB OF CHICAGO. IF YOU’VE NEVER HEARD OF THIS METROPOLIS DON’T FRET…NO ONE HAS. BUT, STARTING TODAY, LYNWOOD IS MY FAVORITE PLACE ON EARTH.
IT DID WHAT EVERY PERSON IN THE COUNTRY WOULD LIKE TO DO – NO, NOT BITCH SLAP, CHER – IT HAS BANNED YOUNG, AND OLD, IDIOT MEN FROM WEARING BAGGY PANTS SHOWING EXPOSED UNDERWEAR. “THE GANGSTA LOOK.” IT’S A LOOK THAT COULD MAKE A GOAT GAG!
HOW THIS SO-CALLED FASHION PHENOM GOT STARTED CAN ONLY BE BLAMED ON DICK CHENEY OR HOLDING A 5-IRON DURING A LIGHTENING STORM. DO MEN REALLY THINK THAT EXPOSING THEIR UNDERWEAR WHILE THEIR BAGGY PANTS FALL AROUND THEIR ANKLES – IS A GOOD LOOK AND GUARANTEED TO EXCITE WOMEN? WRONG!
THE LOOK STARTED IN CALIFORNIA PRISONS WHEN BLACK INMATES (AIN’T THEY ALL?) REFUSED TO WEAR BELTS AND ALLOWED THEIR PRISON PANTS TO HANG BELOW THEIR KNEES. DOES THIS MEAN THAT DIOR AND RALPH LOREN ARE NO LONGER THE FASHION MAVENS AND MURDERERS AND DOPE PUSHERS ARE NOW SETTING STYLES? I JUST WISH THAT ANY MORON WEARING DROOPY PANTS TRIPPED AND BROKE THEIR NOSTRILS.
ANYWAY, LYNWOOD, DECIDED ENOUGH WAS ENOUGH. IT COULDN’T STOMACH ITS KIDS WALKING AROUND LIKE EXTRAS ON “COPS.” THE NEW LAW PREVENTS ANY MALE FROM EXPOSING 3-INCHES OF UNDERWEAR ABOVE THEIR BELTLINE. (I’D HATE TO HAVE THE JOB OF ENFORCING THE ORDINANCE. CAN YOU IMAGINE TAKING OUT A RULER AND MEASURING?) THE FINE IS $25 IF YOU ARE CAUGHT. IF AN OFFENDER HAS THE CHUTZPAH TO SHOW THE CRACK IN HIS ASS BECAUSE OF HIS OVERSIZED PANTS...IT CALLS FOR THE DEATH PENALTY. THE SUPREME COURT WOULD DECLARE IT CONSTITUTIONAL OR MY NAME ISN’T JACK KEVORKIAN.
THAT’S BETTER. LYNWOOD IS A SUBURB OF CHICAGO. IF YOU’VE NEVER HEARD OF THIS METROPOLIS DON’T FRET…NO ONE HAS. BUT, STARTING TODAY, LYNWOOD IS MY FAVORITE PLACE ON EARTH.
IT DID WHAT EVERY PERSON IN THE COUNTRY WOULD LIKE TO DO – NO, NOT BITCH SLAP, CHER – IT HAS BANNED YOUNG, AND OLD, IDIOT MEN FROM WEARING BAGGY PANTS SHOWING EXPOSED UNDERWEAR. “THE GANGSTA LOOK.” IT’S A LOOK THAT COULD MAKE A GOAT GAG!
HOW THIS SO-CALLED FASHION PHENOM GOT STARTED CAN ONLY BE BLAMED ON DICK CHENEY OR HOLDING A 5-IRON DURING A LIGHTENING STORM. DO MEN REALLY THINK THAT EXPOSING THEIR UNDERWEAR WHILE THEIR BAGGY PANTS FALL AROUND THEIR ANKLES – IS A GOOD LOOK AND GUARANTEED TO EXCITE WOMEN? WRONG!
THE LOOK STARTED IN CALIFORNIA PRISONS WHEN BLACK INMATES (AIN’T THEY ALL?) REFUSED TO WEAR BELTS AND ALLOWED THEIR PRISON PANTS TO HANG BELOW THEIR KNEES. DOES THIS MEAN THAT DIOR AND RALPH LOREN ARE NO LONGER THE FASHION MAVENS AND MURDERERS AND DOPE PUSHERS ARE NOW SETTING STYLES? I JUST WISH THAT ANY MORON WEARING DROOPY PANTS TRIPPED AND BROKE THEIR NOSTRILS.
ANYWAY, LYNWOOD, DECIDED ENOUGH WAS ENOUGH. IT COULDN’T STOMACH ITS KIDS WALKING AROUND LIKE EXTRAS ON “COPS.” THE NEW LAW PREVENTS ANY MALE FROM EXPOSING 3-INCHES OF UNDERWEAR ABOVE THEIR BELTLINE. (I’D HATE TO HAVE THE JOB OF ENFORCING THE ORDINANCE. CAN YOU IMAGINE TAKING OUT A RULER AND MEASURING?) THE FINE IS $25 IF YOU ARE CAUGHT. IF AN OFFENDER HAS THE CHUTZPAH TO SHOW THE CRACK IN HIS ASS BECAUSE OF HIS OVERSIZED PANTS...IT CALLS FOR THE DEATH PENALTY. THE SUPREME COURT WOULD DECLARE IT CONSTITUTIONAL OR MY NAME ISN’T JACK KEVORKIAN.
posted by THE RANTING OLD GEEZER at 10:45 AM
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