WHAT A SCHMUCK!

FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO FIND NOTHING FUNNY ABOUT THE U.S. LATELY, YOU SHOULD HAVE SEEN TODAY’S PRESIDENTIAL PRESS CONFERENCE. IT WAS LIKE WATCHING THE GONG SHOW.

GEORGE BUSH PROUDLY ADMITTED THAT ‘HE WASN’T AN ECONOMIST.” DUH! WHY DIDN’T HE ADMIT THAT HE’S A MENTAL RETARD AND THE WORST PRESIDENT IN OUR HISTORY? AS LONG AS HE WAS BEING TRUTHFUL……

HE TRIED TO SOUND OPTIMISTIC ABOUT THE ECONOMY. HE SAID THINGS WEREN’T AS BAD AS PEOPLE THINK. “PLENTY OF PEOPLE ARE WORKING” – ESPECIALLY IF THEY LIVE IN INDIA, CHINA, JAPAN AND OTHER PLACES FAR AWAY. GEORGE, ALSO CLAIMED THAT THE HOUSING CRISES IS A PROBLEM BUT LIVING IN A DUMPSTER AIN’T THAT BAD. HE URGED ONE OF THE WAYS WE CAN SOLVE THE ENERGY PROBLEM WAS FOR PEOPLE NOT TO USE THEIR AIR CONDITIONERS WHEN THEY’RE NOT HOME OR ON VACATION. THE GUY IS SHARP. HE SWORE THAT PEOPLE AREN’T GOING HUNGRY AND ALL THOSE EATING THEIR SHOES FOR DINNER WERE TRYING A NEW DIET.

THE PREZ FINALLY ACKNOWLEDGED THAT GASOLINE AT THE PUMPS WERE KINDA HIGH BUT IF WE BEGIN DRILLING OFF-SHORE IT SHOULD SOLVE THE SHORTAGE OF OIL AND NATURAL GAS BY THE TIME ANGELINA JOLIE’S NEW TWINS ARE ILLEGIBLE FOR SOCIAL SECURITY.

I MUST SAY I FELT SO MUCH BETTER AFTER LISTENING TO BUSH’S COMFORTING WORDS THAT I JOINED THE TALIBAN.