I'M THROWING MY HAT IN THE RING!
Thousands of readers of my blog have asked the Old Geezer if he has given up writing his insightful comments. Maybe not thousands. Hundreds. Okay, you three loyal readers have wondered why I haven’t been actively writing The Ranting Old Geezer.
It would be easy to claim that I’ve had writers’ block and that the only thing I’ve been able to write in the past months has been two apostrophes and one hyphen – but that would be a lie. The real reason for my low output is I’m so damned bored with what’s been happening politically that I can’t summon the courage and interest to get excited or pissed off at anyone.
Have you ever seen a more hopeless group of politicians vying to become the Presidential candidate of their party? All of them are stumbling around like drunks at an Irish wake. None of them has any consistent message for the electorate. They declare things and take them back the next day because some overpaid media advisor warns that some voter or block of voters might be offended. It’s gotten so ridiculous that Obama was attacked for thinking, while in kindergarten, that one day he’d like to be President. Since when did that become a crime? Most five-year-olds still can’t figure out how to wipe their own asses. At least he had a hope and dream even though the truth is America will never elect a black man President unless that man happens to be Oprah Winfrey.
Senator Clinton’s campaign has gone into cardiac arrest because of inexcusable mistakes made by her or her campaign spokespeople. Her candidacy has always been a little suspect because she’s so damn careful of making or admitting a mistake that people hesitate to trust her. I’m not sure the country is ready for a woman President, either, unless that woman is Senator Larry Craig.
The Republicans are in even worst shape with their group of shallow candidates. Romney looks too perfect – like a model for Ralph Lauren. He makes John Edwards look like an ill groomed hobo.
Mitt also has a habit of lying and exaggerating about everything he says. Besides, who would vote for someone named President Mitt except a little league ballplayer?
The former mayor of NYC looks sneaky and has a smile which is as sincere as a used-car salesman’s. He’s been caught charging expenses to the City government while shtooping his girlfriend – now wife in the Hamptons. The thought of Rudy fucking anyone is enough to disqualify him from office. The newest kid on the Republican block is …Jim Nabors – I mean Mike Huckabee. Another classic name for a Prez. The guy looks like Gomer Pyle and his only political claim to fame is that he believes in Jesus. So did Squeaky Frome, asshole. His stump speech message is that Jesus helped him lose over 100-pounds while he was Governor of Arkansas. Why the fuck didn’t he try Jennie Craig? He proudly claims that the Christian right can trust him because he’s a born-again ordained minister – so is Jimmy Swaggot and Ted Haggett. He also likes to hunt – have you seen him in his outfit? Looks like Elmer Fudd in earmuffs. John McCain is too old and pisses off too many ultra-extreme conservatives to get elected.
Now you may understand why I haven’t taken my quill out to write lately. The only solution if can think of for our next President is Vladimir Putin –at least he can bend down a touch his toes which no one else can do.
It would be easy to claim that I’ve had writers’ block and that the only thing I’ve been able to write in the past months has been two apostrophes and one hyphen – but that would be a lie. The real reason for my low output is I’m so damned bored with what’s been happening politically that I can’t summon the courage and interest to get excited or pissed off at anyone.
Have you ever seen a more hopeless group of politicians vying to become the Presidential candidate of their party? All of them are stumbling around like drunks at an Irish wake. None of them has any consistent message for the electorate. They declare things and take them back the next day because some overpaid media advisor warns that some voter or block of voters might be offended. It’s gotten so ridiculous that Obama was attacked for thinking, while in kindergarten, that one day he’d like to be President. Since when did that become a crime? Most five-year-olds still can’t figure out how to wipe their own asses. At least he had a hope and dream even though the truth is America will never elect a black man President unless that man happens to be Oprah Winfrey.
Senator Clinton’s campaign has gone into cardiac arrest because of inexcusable mistakes made by her or her campaign spokespeople. Her candidacy has always been a little suspect because she’s so damn careful of making or admitting a mistake that people hesitate to trust her. I’m not sure the country is ready for a woman President, either, unless that woman is Senator Larry Craig.
The Republicans are in even worst shape with their group of shallow candidates. Romney looks too perfect – like a model for Ralph Lauren. He makes John Edwards look like an ill groomed hobo.
Mitt also has a habit of lying and exaggerating about everything he says. Besides, who would vote for someone named President Mitt except a little league ballplayer?
The former mayor of NYC looks sneaky and has a smile which is as sincere as a used-car salesman’s. He’s been caught charging expenses to the City government while shtooping his girlfriend – now wife in the Hamptons. The thought of Rudy fucking anyone is enough to disqualify him from office. The newest kid on the Republican block is …Jim Nabors – I mean Mike Huckabee. Another classic name for a Prez. The guy looks like Gomer Pyle and his only political claim to fame is that he believes in Jesus. So did Squeaky Frome, asshole. His stump speech message is that Jesus helped him lose over 100-pounds while he was Governor of Arkansas. Why the fuck didn’t he try Jennie Craig? He proudly claims that the Christian right can trust him because he’s a born-again ordained minister – so is Jimmy Swaggot and Ted Haggett. He also likes to hunt – have you seen him in his outfit? Looks like Elmer Fudd in earmuffs. John McCain is too old and pisses off too many ultra-extreme conservatives to get elected.
Now you may understand why I haven’t taken my quill out to write lately. The only solution if can think of for our next President is Vladimir Putin –at least he can bend down a touch his toes which no one else can do.
posted by THE RANTING OLD GEEZER at 9:27 AM
