COME OUT OF THE CLOSET.

Like many of you the Old Geezer has been glued to my seat watching the Presidential debates. Some joker thought it would be funny to smear crazy glue on my diaper so I’m stuck watching candidates blather and make asses out of themselves. The first thing that becomes evident if you have unfortunately tuned into one of the Democratic or Republican debates is that every presidential hopeful is Bi. It’s time they all came out of the closet. The trouble with most bi-sexual mean and women is that they are afraid to confront their sexual confusion so they hide in the closet rather than admit and face the truth honestly and forthrightly. If that doesn't remind you of the presidential candidates -- than you don't like fried chicken on Sunday.

None of the politicians on stage can tell the truth – the simple, unvarnished truth. In answering questions they begin to dodge, slither and prevaricate hoping not to offend someone. Watching these bozos makes me shake like my tongue was caught in the third rail. Those claiming and acting like liberals – aren’t! They are really closeted conservatives trying to pass. Many of the supposed neo-cons are really closeted liberals hoping to appeal to religious, right-wing zealots. The truth is that every one of the presidential hopefuls is as trustworthy and believable as a two-dollar hooker standing on a street corner in Rangoon. They will say and promise anything to get a customer…or voter. Rather than take a position on an issue and stick to it they begin to bob and weave like a bantam weight boxer. They will do anything not to be pinned down.

One of the biggest problems is that all of these ambitious politicos are being run by media consultants. A media consultant is about as trustworthy as a rug salesman. For the right fee they will work for any bum or bumette. Their real job is to hopefully prevent their candidate from making a mistake. All humans make mistakes – take my wife…. please! As a result, the debates have a stage-filled with politicians talking a lot and not saying anything. Elections now are about the lesser of two evils and not about excitedly supporting someone we believe in and hope will solve the country’s problems.

Wouldn’t it be refreshing if all of these nominees came out of the closet, fired their media and public relations experts and just told us the truth -- what they really believe in and will do if they get into office? I think the crazy glue fumes are getting to me because I’m starting to hallucinate.

A DOLLAR BY ANY OTHER NAME IS A LOONEY.

A vast majority of U.S. citizens believe that George W. Bush is a stupid, asinine and dangerous President…and those are his supporters. People feel that his administration has caused irreparable damage to the country which will last for generations and generations: The enormous federal deficit which his grown under his leadership and has practically bankrupted our economy; The ugly, unseemly political partisanship which grew like a cancer during his nearly eight years in power; His maniacal power grabbing in trying to form an imperial executive at the determent of the other branches of government and his trampling of the Bill of Rights in his illegal use of wiretapping and eavesdropping of American citizens. Tens of millions are outraged that our government has ignored the Geneva Convention and, for the first time in our history, has engaged in torture of people the White House consider ‘enemies’. Others shake with rage at his appointment of neo-conservative and reactionary Justices to the Supreme Court fearing that their rightwing decisions will damage human and personal rights for years to come. Of course, his biggest unforgivable blunder was not following through on his pledges, after 9-11, to capture, kill and bring to justice the terrorists responsible for those attacks. Instead of committing enough manpower and material to do the job…he and Dick Cheney decided to invade Iraq instead and lie to the people about why they did it. Perhaps because the only logical reason for the attack was that they didn’t like Saddam’s mustache. His moronic invasion has cost nearly 4-thousand American military lives – and counting…and tens of thousands more injured permanently. That insane war is costing billions of needed dollars every month which could be spent at home for better purposes... our to pay off our federal debt. Do Americas really give a crap about trying to impose a democracy on people who never had one and are more interested in murdering each other while eating sheep’s eyes? Bush’s war has also alienated many long term allies and made America the most hated enemy of Muslims all over the world.

I think the above reasons are chump change to get pissed at George “the retard” Bush? Want to really get your blood pressure in orbit?

On my latest trip to Toronto, Canada I eagerly walked into a bank, slapped down 100 American dollars – expecting a Brink’s truck of Canadian money in exchange….lo and behold…I was given, are you ready?, 94 Canadian dollars in return. I sneered at the teller and said, “Hand over the rest of my money, eh?” She sneered right back and told me to kiss her hockey puck. It seems that because of Bush’s brilliant economic strategy the American dollar is now worth less than the Canadian Looney! Funny money named after a facata bird is worth more than our buck.

This hasn’t happened since Millard Fillmore vomited in the oval office and Anne Murray got her first period. Our dough is worthless! For that alone Bush should be impeached and made to listen to his own speeches. The prick!!!!!!