DON'T GET TOO OLD
WHOEVER COINED THE PHRASE “THE GOLDEN YEARS” IS A LYING, RAT BASTARD. THERE IS NOTHING GOLDEN ABOUT GROWING OLD. IT SUCKS!
YOUR BODY STOPS FUNCTIONING THE WAY IT USED TO. YOU ACHE IN PLACES THAT YOU NEVER KNEW YOU HAD. YOU LOSE CONTROL OF IMPORTANT BODILY FUNCTIONS – LIKE HOW TO USE THE TV REMOTE. YOUR MEMORY IS MUSH. YOUR BLADDER HAS A MIND OF ITS OWN. YOUR HEARING, WHICH YOU PROUDLY COMPARED TO THAT OF A DOG, RESEMBLES A DEAD DOG. WHAT?!?
FRANKLY, GROWING OLD IS EMBARRASSING. I DON’T WANT TO BE HELPED ACROSS THE STREET BY SOME ZIT-COVERED BOY SCOUT. HELL, NOWADAYS I NEED GLASSES JUST TO THINK. IMAGINE HOW I FELT READING ABOUT SOME 78-YEAR OLD BIDDY IN SWEDEN WHO COULDN’T QUITE FIGURE OUT THE CHECK-IN PROCEDURES AT THE STOCKHOLM AIRPORT. YOU’D THINK THEY WERE PRINTED IN SWEDISH, FOR CHRIST’S SAKE. WHEN CHECKING HER BAG, SHE ALSO STEPPED ONTO THE CONVEYOR BELT AND FELL DOWN THE BAGGAGE CHUTE. WHEN SHE LANDED ON SOME FAKE LOUIS VUITON LUGGAGE SHE REALIZED THAT SHE MADE A MISTAKE. FORTUNATELY, THE OLD BROAD WASN’T HURT AND WAS ABLE TO MAKE HER PLANE TO GERMANY. SAD THING IS SHE KNOWS NO ONE IN GERMANY AND WAS HOPING TO FLY TO IRELAND. GOLDEN YEARS, THIS!!!!!!!
TO PROVE MY POINT ABOUT GROWING OLD AND BECOMING A BURDEN TO SOCIETY JUST LOOK AT WHAT JOHN McCAIN ANNOUNCED THIS WEEK. AS A PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATE HIS FIRST AND MOST IMPORTANT DECISION WAS PICKING A RUNNING MATE. THE PERSON WHO WILL BE A HEARTBEAT AWAY FROM THE OVAL OFFICE. ON HIS 72ND BIRTHDAY THIS IDIOT PICKED THE GOVERNOR OF ALASKA – A WOMAN HE HAD ONLY MET TWICE – AS HIS VICE PRESIDENTIAL RUNNING MATE.
THIS RIGHT-WING, RELIGIOUS CONSERVATIVE WHO PROUDLY IS A MEMBER OF THE NRA AND IS PRO-LIFE WAS ONCE A WANNABE BEAUTY QUEEN FROM HER STATE. SHE WAS BEATEN BY A WALRUS. SHE’S BEEN IN OFFICE FOR TWO YEARS AND POINTS WITH PRIDE THAT SHE HASN’T BEEN INDICTED FOR MALFEASANCE YET. GIVE HER TIME.
ONLY AN OLD, SENILE PUTZ WOULD PICK A VP WITH NO EXEPERIENCE OR BACKGROUND. EVERYONE SHOULD BE PUT TO BED OR LOCKED IN A CLOSET ONCE THEY REACH THE RIPE OLD AGE OF 21.
YOUR BODY STOPS FUNCTIONING THE WAY IT USED TO. YOU ACHE IN PLACES THAT YOU NEVER KNEW YOU HAD. YOU LOSE CONTROL OF IMPORTANT BODILY FUNCTIONS – LIKE HOW TO USE THE TV REMOTE. YOUR MEMORY IS MUSH. YOUR BLADDER HAS A MIND OF ITS OWN. YOUR HEARING, WHICH YOU PROUDLY COMPARED TO THAT OF A DOG, RESEMBLES A DEAD DOG. WHAT?!?
FRANKLY, GROWING OLD IS EMBARRASSING. I DON’T WANT TO BE HELPED ACROSS THE STREET BY SOME ZIT-COVERED BOY SCOUT. HELL, NOWADAYS I NEED GLASSES JUST TO THINK. IMAGINE HOW I FELT READING ABOUT SOME 78-YEAR OLD BIDDY IN SWEDEN WHO COULDN’T QUITE FIGURE OUT THE CHECK-IN PROCEDURES AT THE STOCKHOLM AIRPORT. YOU’D THINK THEY WERE PRINTED IN SWEDISH, FOR CHRIST’S SAKE. WHEN CHECKING HER BAG, SHE ALSO STEPPED ONTO THE CONVEYOR BELT AND FELL DOWN THE BAGGAGE CHUTE. WHEN SHE LANDED ON SOME FAKE LOUIS VUITON LUGGAGE SHE REALIZED THAT SHE MADE A MISTAKE. FORTUNATELY, THE OLD BROAD WASN’T HURT AND WAS ABLE TO MAKE HER PLANE TO GERMANY. SAD THING IS SHE KNOWS NO ONE IN GERMANY AND WAS HOPING TO FLY TO IRELAND. GOLDEN YEARS, THIS!!!!!!!
TO PROVE MY POINT ABOUT GROWING OLD AND BECOMING A BURDEN TO SOCIETY JUST LOOK AT WHAT JOHN McCAIN ANNOUNCED THIS WEEK. AS A PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATE HIS FIRST AND MOST IMPORTANT DECISION WAS PICKING A RUNNING MATE. THE PERSON WHO WILL BE A HEARTBEAT AWAY FROM THE OVAL OFFICE. ON HIS 72ND BIRTHDAY THIS IDIOT PICKED THE GOVERNOR OF ALASKA – A WOMAN HE HAD ONLY MET TWICE – AS HIS VICE PRESIDENTIAL RUNNING MATE.
THIS RIGHT-WING, RELIGIOUS CONSERVATIVE WHO PROUDLY IS A MEMBER OF THE NRA AND IS PRO-LIFE WAS ONCE A WANNABE BEAUTY QUEEN FROM HER STATE. SHE WAS BEATEN BY A WALRUS. SHE’S BEEN IN OFFICE FOR TWO YEARS AND POINTS WITH PRIDE THAT SHE HASN’T BEEN INDICTED FOR MALFEASANCE YET. GIVE HER TIME.
ONLY AN OLD, SENILE PUTZ WOULD PICK A VP WITH NO EXEPERIENCE OR BACKGROUND. EVERYONE SHOULD BE PUT TO BED OR LOCKED IN A CLOSET ONCE THEY REACH THE RIPE OLD AGE OF 21.
posted by THE RANTING OLD GEEZER at 4:22 PM
